I’m wondering if there is some weird chemical in Utah’s water supply, first there was SCO and now there is this:
The chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee said Tuesday he favors developing new technology to remotely destroy the computers of people who illegally download music from the Internet.
Uh oh. I’m wondering if one of my satire amigos is now a senate staffer, I mean who in their right mind could write something like that with a straight face and then say it publicly?
Jason had a phun thought:
I should copyright the name Orrin Hatch and then ask for ways to destroy his car to teach him about copyright laws.
Another Tastealicious Quote:
He [Orrin] endorsed technology that would twice warn a computer user about illegal online behavior, “then destroy their computer.”
In the words of Jason (because I have no original thoughts of my own): what the hell does that involve? Put a stick of dynamite in the PC, and every time it tries to play an MP3… boom?
This novel idea is just in time for the 4th of July, great googley moogley.
Remember this skit from Saturday Night Live?
(Dan Aykroyd) of the U.S. Council of Standards and Measurements explains the “Decabet” the new metric alphabet consisting of 10 letters. “A-B-C and D, our most popular letters, will remain the same. E and F, however, will be combined and graphically simplified to one character. The groupings G-H-I and L-M-N-O will be condensed to single letters. (Incidentally, a boon to those who always thought that L-M-N-O was one letter anyway.) And finally, the ‘trash letters,’ or P-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y and Z, will be condense” to one “easily identifiable dark character.”
Well for some reason, when I read through this comic I was reminded of it. If you can figure out why, you might just grasp the method to my madness, or as my 3rd wife called it: my undermastandability.
What is this world coming to?
PIKEVILLE, Kentucky (AP) — A pen and ink sealed the end of Appalachia’s most infamous bloody feud instead of a shotgun and bullets.
Descendants of the Hatfield and McCoy families gathered Saturday in Pikeville to sign the truce, making a largely symbolic and official end to a feud that had claimed at least a dozen lives from the two mountain families.
“We ask by God’s grace and love that we be forever remembered as those that bound together the hearts of two families to form a family of freedom in America,” says the truce, signed by more than 60 descendants.
Reo Hatfield of Waynesboro, Virginia, came up with the idea as a proclamation of peace.
The broader message it sends to the world, he said, is that when national security is at risk, Americans put their differences aside and stand united. If these two feuding families can come together, anyone can, he said.
“We’re not saying you don’t have to fight because sometimes you do have to fight,” Hatfield said. “But you don’t have to fight forever.”
The more than a century of feuding between the McCoys of Kentucky and Hatfields of West Virginia is believed to have its origins in a dispute over a pig. A court battle over timber rights escalated the tension in the 1870s, and by 1888, as many as a dozen lives were lost.
Kentucky Gov. Paul Patton and West Virginia Gov. Bob Wise also signed proclamations declaring June 14 Hatfield and McCoy Reconciliation Day.
Ron McCoy, a founder of Hatfield-McCoy Festival, now in its fourth year, said the families haven’t decided what to do with the signed proclamations.
“The Hatfields and McCoys symbolize violence and feuding and fighting,” he said, “but by signing this, hopefully people will realize that’s not the final chapter.”
Wow, I’m wondering if the Kennedy’s paid them off… I mean that is not logical! Anyways, what is really funny is I sent that link to two friends, one wrote back:
My stepmom’s brother married a Hatfield, they got a mountain for their wedding gift. It’s not like Mount St. Helens or anything, it’s one of the Appalachians, there are a zillion of ‘em. It’s in SE Kentucky near London, they have a trailer at the base of the mountain.
And Jason just informed me his next door neighbor, out in Saginaw Michigan, is a Hatfield:
They moved here in the 1960’s… In fact, the grandmother just died… she was 106 or something like that. Her mother and father used to live down the street though. Her mother was the one that just died… her last name was Hatfield. The parents who moved here originally lived next door to my grandmother, and now we live next door to their daughter.
I’d sing, “It’s a Small World” but Disney might sue me.
Two Suspects In Critical Condition
A business owner in Phoenix, Arizona took matters into his own hands after a group of men robbed his business, according to a Local 6 News report.
Police say three armed suspects walked into the Mr. Insurance building in Phoenix and demanded money. A fourth suspect was in the getaway car, according to the report.
Investigators said after the suspects left with the store’s money, the co-owner jumped into his Hummer and chased after the suspects.
Police said that the man, identified only as Peter, followed the suspects through a neighborhood and eventually caught up with them. He then rolled his Hummer over their car.
Two of the suspects were taken to the hospital in critical condition.
The two other suspects managed to get away but police later caught them as well.
It is not known if Peter will face charges.
I remember when I used to run over thieves, those were the good ole days. That was back before the Internets moved to the neighborhood, they were way cooler than the Jones’.
In addition to a white-picket fence, a plump 401(k) and multiple trophy wives, I’m like any ordinary warm-blooded heterosexual male in that I also want a currency with my very own mug shot inkblotted across it.
Well, I seem to have bumped into another netizen with similar aspirations, the President/Premiere/Prime Minister/Playboy of Molossia has his very own currency. And the Fun With Fiat(tm) doesn’t end there, as he also took a page from the monetarists playbook:
The basic unit of currency in Molossia is the Valora (plural: Valora), which is divided into 100 Futtrus (plural: Futtrus). The Valora is linked in value to Pillsbury Cookie Dough, 3 Valora having equal value to one tube of Cookie Dough.
Well then. I hereby claim that my tender is linked in value to Trojan Extra Strength Prophylactics “Always Reliable When Your Wing Man Needs It The Most.” Three Timoguapo Dollars are equivalent to one box of Trojan ESPs. I see potential for tremendous growth with this exchange ratio, but that is another spiel for another time.
Anyways, below are some cream-filled currencies that may or may not be backed by central banks — void where prohibited:
