So, I know all of you are just dying to know what I have been up to the past day. Last night I ended up at a Chinese karaoke club (I was one of three honkies) that was way over priced, I didn’t even drink anything and it cost $8 for less than 2 hours of ad-libbing lyrics. Actually, what was really funny is that each group of people had access to individual studios they could rent for a pretty penny (hence my indignation for the cost). What was funny though, was not just the availability of songs (think of having a playlist of just generic pop music from MTV), but the scenery playing in the background for each song. I kid you not, I was sent back to Australia 1990.
The hair, the clothing, the style all just screamed: I have a hang over from the ’80s. Yup, with each song came a new location with new lovers smooching. So we went from the Sydney Opera House to some resort that apparently is the hot cool neat place for thirtysomething ladies to go all Swayze on us — Dirty Dancing (… Chris Farley chippendale?). Actually, it was more like Kevin Bacon’s Footloose, the costumes, the hip gyration, the “I have no idea why I’m practicing this in an abandoned warehouse” look.
The only thing I was disappointed about, I couldn’t sing to Hanson (mmm bop) because one of the party members decided to usurp my de facto authority and as a result, we had to endure the Spice Girls, three times.
Whatever failings last night might have brought me, today everything was compensated fully. Yes, that’s correct, I played paintball. If you’ve never gone paintballing let me explain what it is. First, you are given a gun that looks like it shouldn’t work (plastic bottles and pipes going every which way). You have these little balls the size of marbles which a propelled through a barrel via some sort of air (like nitrogen). That might not sound so threatening if it weren’t for the fact that they traveled at around 200 feet/second.
I’d show you my chest, but you could just as easily get the picture by visiting ShowMeYourWound – seven welts alone on my chest, all bigger than a quarter and a few that shot out some blood. I also took one in the left knee, a couple on individual fingers and a direct shot to my left palm.
Oh, I forgot to mention one thing, the idea behind paintball is similar to that of any other sport, a competition between teams (or individuals). So all of those cuts and bruises came as a result of getting in the way of Mr. Paint.
I played for about 6 solid hours with several friends in which we played on several teams all of which were comprised of 20 or so people each match. There are various games you can play, from Capture the Flag, Elimination, Defend the Fort, Speedball and a few others. For the most part we just played Elimination, from which a good rule of thumb could be coined: let all of the hyper overzealous teenagers run in front of you, sit back and wait until their knocked out and save the princess.
Surprisingly just about every match my friends and I played, we won. That’s not to say that the other guys were easy, or we weren’t knocked out of the game often, but Lady Luck was definitely on our side. In fact, the very last game of the day (called Reincarnation, once you got hit all you had to do is go back, tag a wall and you’re back in the game), I was the man of the moment for some odd reason. We had 15 minutes of which the first 14.5 minutes no one was allowed to go past the mid point. The only way to win was to run from your side of the field to the other without getting shot. I somehow managed to crawl from the back of our base, to the mid point just as the last 30 seconds were ticking down. I stood up, found a bad guy, was about to unload on him and he voluntarily surrendered. I then hauled ass, and you could literally hear the ground behind me just getting drenched in paint from the opposing team trying to nail me. I got to the other side with about 10 seconds to spare and was clobbered with a barrage of balls. All in a days work.
Anyways, I recommend paint ball for just about anyone. Make sure you bring plenty of water, some jeans and a long shirt. For those adventurous ladies (yes, even one of my friends girlfriend came and played), make sure any skin you do not want squished and reddened is covered completely. Camo clothing (BDUs) are also very useful, especially if you’re fighting in the woods (I wore my old Guard clothes).
Lastly I got a new job with an electricity provider (not Enron), which I actually started this past week (hence lack of posting). I’ll try to keep the blog up-to-date each and every day, but don’t get your panties in a wad if I don’t leak the latest rumor on who Demi is sleeping with or who shot JR.