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Back in spring, I used to joke around with some friends about becoming a VIIP, suggesting that blogging would bring me fame, fortune and boatloads of women(s). Well, two out of three occured: I got the fame and I got the Imperial Sugar (and everyone knows, once you get the sugar, you get the power and then the women…).

Anyways, I noticed that someone arrived at this site from Yahoo looking up the name “tim” — just “tim.” Well as Lady Luck would have it, I am the 10th listing on the first SERP.

Bah, you say? You want a real search engine that normal people google with? How about Google? Well, since you’re non-me attitudes are getting in your way, let me explain: Yahoo still uses Google for some of it’s search enginery. Go ahead, I dare you to type “tim” into Google, double dog dare you.

Satisfied?

So now all I have to do is make a couple posts about Tim Berners-Lee (Father of the WWW, God, wish-he-had-a-blog), Tim Burton (director, producer, blogless), Tim Blair (journalist, commentator, non-me!), Tim McGraw (country singer, lyricist, wants-a-blog-from-me), Tim Johnson (bureaucrat, politician, no-idea-what-a-blog-is) and a few other worthless unmentionables.

Whether it is in the prophetic words of Austin 3:16 or egg-head Steve Wozniak: they’re going down, down town.

Well, I was talking to Satan today, he said that a number of pigs managed to somehow fly over the River Styx and land in what are now several ski lodges in what used to be the Nine Circles of Hell.

My friends, the RIAA is now offering amnesty to “pirates,” “thieves” and Pee-Wee Herman.

All you have to do is:

According to sources, the RIAA will not pursue legal action if infringers delete all unauthorized music files from their computers, destroy all copies (including CD-Rs) and promise not to upload such material in the future. Each infringing household member will have to send a completed, notarized amnesty form to the RIAA, with a copy of a photo ID. Those who renege on their promise will be subject to charges of willful copyright infringement.

Word on the street has it that SCO will be offering a similar option to thieves of it’s operating system in the near future.

Damn those malicious thieves!