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“I think the fact that RIAA headquarters wasn’t destroyed by a meteor or a bolt of lightning today is sufficient proof that god does not exist.”
- Jason Ditz reacting to the $2000 settlement the RIAA had with a 12-year old girl

Next on The World Is A Soap Opera:

- SCO Sues 6th-grade Science Fair Team For Illegal Use Of Linux
- Federal Reserve Defeats Inflation Through Priming The Printing Presses
- Gigli Becomes Top-Selling Movie At The Box Office

- Professional charlatans, what will they think of next? How about an espresso tax? A 10-cent tax on any drinks served with espresso in them (coffee, latte’s, etc.). Next on the agenda is a breathing-air tax followed closely by a eating-carbon-based-life-forms tax.

- ‘Hitler wine’ sparks protest:

Germany has protested to Italy over a winery that labels its bottles with portraits of Adolf Hitler, the Justice Ministry said.
[...]
The so-called “Fuehrerwein” bottles, part of Alessandro Lunardelli’s “historic line,” features 14 different labels portraying Hitler and other Nazis, with slogans such as “Seig Heil.”

I’m not sure about you, but they sound like great conversation starters at dinner:

Host: “Excuse me, while I get the Mussolini Mead”
Guest: “Pardon my taste, but I’d prefer the Hitler Heil variety”
Host: “I’m sorry to say it, but we’re all out of his flavor”
Guest: “Pity”

Alright, enough sacrilege.

- Wondered what organizations are evil? Google has an index that should keep you busy for sometime:

Flash is evil (Damn Joe Cartoon!)
Internet Explorer is evil (Mozilla is the anti-dote.)
PowerPoint is evil (See spot. See spot run. [Continued on next page] Run spot run.)
Barney is evil: A mathematical proof (QED)

Ad infinitum

- Wonder what a $75,000 ring looks like on eBay? Ask this belle and she might spill the beans: Woman finds marriage proposal on eBay.

- The Sperminator - A new injection for men could shake up the world of contraceptives. Finally, a hands off approach to a hands on experience.

- 12-Year-Old Sued for Music Downloading. Whew, I hope they lock her away for the rest of her dirty sinister life. Stealing CDs from stores! Err, copying electrons from an anonymous computer to hers… it’s like theft, only not.

- Indian EEs show you can go home again - Some of you might remember the post I made about various tech companies moving jobs offshore to places like India. Well, apparently Indian nationals, specialized in various fields of computing are also moving back to India for various reasons including higher living standards and a more hospitable climate for innovation. Somehow I doubt the AFL-CIO guys will moan and groan over their departure.

- SCO warns open-source community - Having purchased a WW II battleship, the USS SCO left port today, promising to “almost always shoot first and ask questions later.” Armed with 12-inch guns, the Utah-based software company unveiled this new innovative approach to compensate for a chronic problem: bull shitting.

- And I’ll close with a quirky sports story I noticed from ESPN columnist, Terry Bowden:

To new coach Mike Hoskins of Division III Rockford College (Ill.): What in the world are you doing beating Trinity Bible College (N.D.) by a D-III record score of 105-0? I know it’s the job of the defense to hold the score down, but that is inexcusable. No one deserves to be humiliated like that, especially a bunch of guys at at Bible college. At least we know they’re praying for your forgiveness.

I dunno, that Jebus guy works in mysterious ways…