Doctor Recommended
100% All Natural

Bada bing:

“I’ll be able to afford it, and then run a thirty-two bit extension and GUI shell to a sixteen bit patch to an eight bit operating system originally coded for a four bit microprocessor and sold by a two-bit company that can’t stand one bit of competition, on a sixty-four bit processor!” - Daath commenting on the rumored Prescott 64-bit extensions.

Runner-up:

“whats all the hooblaa about things having to be free… as an act of protest against having to pay for things, lets all go to our employers and insist they employ us for free and pay us nothing.” - captain destruckto on criticisms of Skype VoIP.

Honorary mention:

“This holier than thou behavior is hypocritical,” Boxer said. “It seems to me they are attempting to protect privacy of theft.” - California Senator Barbara Boxer lambasting SBC and Verizon’s attempt to block subpoena’s from the RIAA.

Reminds me of these photos.

Torvalds Announces Linux “A Hoax”:

SANTA CLARA, CALIF. — In a shocking announcement Linus Torvalds, creator of the Linux operating system kernel, revealed that the wildly successful Linux was “an elaborate hoax.”

“Alan [Cox] and I just made it up,” said Torvalds, “We wanted to have our own OS but didn’t know how to make one and neither of us could afford a subscription to MSDN. It’s been real hell faking all of those patch submissions for the last twelve years. I’m just glad it’s over.”

Torvalds went on to describe how Linux has been assembled over the years from stolen code, mostly from SCO’s Unixware server operating system. Large portions were also lifted from Novell’s NetWare 3 and Microsoft’s Altair BASIC.

When asked if he felt any remorse over the affair he replied, “Sorta. But everybody does it. The KDE project is mostly de-compiled Windows code and Eric Raymond copied ‘The Cathedral and the Bazaar’ verbatim from an MIT enrollment brochure. Most open-source developers are just coders who couldn’t hack it in the real world where everybody runs Windows.”

Concluding his announcement Torvalds encouraged Linux users to “either purchase a legitimate license from SCO or install GNU HURD.”

Alan Cox declined to comment.

Well, as Jack Handey said, it takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man. Folks I can take it like a man, Linux does not exist — just like Asian midgets.

Where did I go wrong?