Even though I’m incredibly swamped with free time, I managed to find a couple hours to sit down and watch Wolfgang Petersen’s Troy (he copyrighted it, right?). I don’t think it was as epic as it could have been (i.e. Gladiator) but it had its moments.
I’m not a big fan of pretty-boy metrosexuals (like Ben Affleck) or in this case, Orlando Bloom — but supposedly, in Homer’s Iliad - where the plot for the movie came from, sorta - Paris (Bloom’s character) is pretty much a pansy (remember Bloom also played the effeminate Legolas in LotR).
On the upside, I thought Brad Pitt did a pretty convincing job as Achilles - he was buff, but not bulging from every orifice, he had the deity-endowed blonde hair and of course, he mustered enough charismatic Casanova charm to woo frightened defenseless temple virgins.
As far as battle scenes go, if you are wanting a Lord of the Rings comparison (i.e. Helms Deep), Troy did not have ogres, trolls or Hobbits duking it out in fairly land, but instead, 50,000 human men slashing each other with swords and spears while maneuvering in leather skirts on sandy beaches.
Acting wise, feelings of empathy were hard to muster as the emotional depth to important characters was as deep as a thimble. If you have seen The Alamo, you would probably understand what I mean by that. Also, a 163 minute run-time is somewhat taxing, several scenes (any featuring Bloom) could have been axed in the post-production process. If you’ve seen Hulk, you know what I mean by that.
I give it a C-. It’s worth seeing just to say you saw it.
