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I know those of you that read my blog (all three of you) don’t because of any interest in my personal life, however, due to the lack of updates I thought I owe you an explanation.

I’m back at Texas A&M University this summer partaking in an internship with the Youth Adventure Program (though it’s not a requirement for my masters degree). The job is that of a camp counselor for middle school and high school students and requires just about every ounce of energy from dusk till dawn. So, over the next four weeks or so I’ll be updating sporadically.

Additionally, if you have any kids or relatives in those age groups listed above, I highly recommend this program to give the student a taste of what collegiate academic life is like (it also gives them a chance to socialize and participate in a oodles of fun 24×7).

One of the classes I took kids to during the week was Horticulture and the Science of Plants. That page contains the syllabus and notes we used throughout the week to learn about everything from carniverous plants to genetically modified crops — it was like a hands on episode of the Discovery Channel each and every day.

Anyways, if I have a chance, I’ll try to write up a blurb about the various social activities we do to wear kids out on a daily basis. No promises though.

Monsieur Doctor en el Green House

Pretentious. Flamboyant. Grandiloquent. Ostentatious. Snobbish.

Those are but a few words to describe many Christian fundamentalists. Surprisingly (although, it’s really not too difficult to do), entertainer Mandy Moore manages to play the part of a splashy Hilary Faye whose inflated psyche borders on flaming narcissism in this years instant-classic: Saved!

Macaulay Culkin makes his comeback to the silver screen bringing with him his old boyish charm and tactful wit. Culkin plays the part of Roland, the handicapped older brother of Hilary who, along with the entire cast, ripens into a more compassionate and understanding individual as the story fans out.

Writers Brian Dannelly and Michael Urban do a superb job illustrating the rigid legalistic and down-right superficial caricatures for many of the bible-thumping hollier-than-thouers scattered throughout the movie.

Judge first, ask questions later – that is the unfortunate modus operandi for shallow individuals most notably archetyped by dyed-in-the-wool reactionaries Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell, whose infamous Southern Baptist theocracy is lampooned specifically in Saved!

Yes, even though I am a member of the EAC and the fact that it did have several preachy moments (including the last speech at the end), Saved! receives an A in my book for strong character development, use of humor and historical/cultural accuracy.

Who is down with G-O-D?

Last night I moved back down to College Station for a grad internship this summer so I’ll be on and off throughout the week. Here is an amusing post I noticed over at Media Dystopia:

I didn’t want to be rude. If you’re in a Chinese restaurant — in this case, one in Markham, just north of Toronto — and deep-fried pigeon is prominently listed on the menu, is it polite to ask whether it’s local? I’m curious as to whether Canada has a thriving import market for pigeon when the bird — and its shit — is so abundant here. If so, is there anti-foreign-pigeon lobby working behind the scenes in Ottawa? Is there a crafty Canadian black market attempting to thwart the overseas pigeon cartels? Do young children supplement their allowances with homemade pigeon traps? Interesting questions all, but as the chances of me keeping a straight face while asking about the dish were slim to none, I skirted the issue altogether by ordering some less thought-provoking fowl: crispy chicken with black-pepper sauce and rice. (It was delicious.)

This sugar free post is brought to you by mellifluous, because that’s how Craig Kilborn described Patrick Stewart’s voice.

- Three Positions on Intellectual Property Rights - “However, “intellectual” goods are not like the usual sort of goods. If I use your car, you cannot simultaneously use it. But if I use your idea, you are not thereby prevented from using it. You know when someone has stolen your car, but it may be years or never before you realise that they have “stolen” your idea. Ideas are not scarce.” (Via ibergus)

- Reagan’s Death “The Perfect Diversion” - Washington D.C. - White House officials denied today that President Ronald Reagan died last week in an effort to divert public attention from scandals surrounding the Bush administration.

- Dane considers porn fringe benefit - “An IT company in Nordjylland, Denmark has introduced a novel program to keep employees satisfied. After examining well-known trends in Internet and business traffic, LL Media decided it would be sensible and appreciated to offer all of its employees free subscriptions to Internet pornography.”

- Database Nation: Looking on the Bright Side of ‘Zero Privacy’ - May 4, 2004 — As subscribers pull the June Reason magazine out of their mailbox, something about the issue should look familiar. The magazine published 40,000 individualized covers displaying an aerial photo of the subscriber’s home and the surrounding neighborhood.

Lastly, I finally got invited for the Gmail beta, by David no-less. I’ll be sure to give out my invitations to the highest bidders — I also accept Timoguapos.

Day 10 of the content-lite blog diet. Atkins, eat your heart out.

- Chinese scientists find 1st fossil embryo - “Scientists in China have discovered a fossil thought to be more than 120 million-years-old containing an embryo of a flying reptile that lived alongside the dinosaurs.”

- The Unsolvable Math Problem - “A student arrives late to math class and finds two problems written on the chalkboard. Assuming they’re homework problems, he jots them down in his notebook and works on the equations over the next few days before turning his solutions in to the instructor. Several weeks later, the professor turns up at the student’s door with the student’s work written up for publication. The two problems were not a homework assignment; they were problems previously thought to be unsolvable which the instructor had used as examples in his lecture that day.”

- Stendhal’s syndrome (sten.DAWLZ sin.drum, -drohm) n. Dizziness, panic, paranoia, or madness caused by viewing certain artistic or historical artifacts or by trying to see too many such artifacts in too short a time.

Apparently Monsieur Louis suffered from this cultural debilitating disease. Maybe the French Connection has something to do with it.

My laggard, sweat-free stroll produced a few gems today.

- Kangaroo Next in Line to Have Genes Mapped - “The kangaroo will join dogs, people and mice in having all its genes mapped, U.S. and Australian scientists said on Tuesday.”

- George Bush Likens Iraq to Windows ME, New Coke and Pluto Nash - “AIR FORCE ACADEMY, Colo. - Likening the Iraqi war to long list of other American backfires, President Bush urged support Wednesday for his efforts to spread freedom and democracy in the Mideast despite the angry distrust of many Arabs, Europeans, Canadians, a few Chinese, part of Australia, more Canadians, and a good part of America.”

- Why the FCC should die - “It’s time to abolish the Federal Communications Commission. The reason is simple. The venerable FCC, created in 1934, is no longer necessary. Its justification for existence was weak 70 years ago, but advances in technology since then have eliminated whatever arguments remained. Central planning didn’t work for the Soviet Union, and it’s not working for us. The FCC is now an agency that does more harm than good.”

- Grace for Freethinking social democrats - “For what we are about to eat, may we be truly grateful. Thanks to the Food and Drug Administration and the Environmental Protection Agency for ensuring the food we eat is healthy and safe. Thanks to the Department of Transportation for the roads on which the food is shipped to us, and to the Department of Justice for ensuring nobody makes a food monopoly that would price it out of our reach. And, of course, thanks to the court system and the various election boards that keep the whole system honest. In the name of the president, the veep and the almighty congress, Amen.”

Damn that last one was a doozy. God bless gubmint and baby Jesus.

As I am fat I could only take a brief walk around the blogosphere today.

- Earn Your PhD While Playing Games - It’s like getting paid to play Nintendo. How cool is that?

- What’s Google’s Secret Weapon? An Army of Ph.D.’s - Speaking of PhD’s, guess who hires guys that did their dissertation on the physical effects of Up, Up, Down, Down on the cheat-code subculture?

- Mastercard Priceless Parodies - You’ve probably seen a number of these pictures before, a couple new ones I thought were lolable.

- Couple’s joy at ‘deep freeze’ baby - The kicker: the sperm that fertilized the egg was 21 years old. That’s what I call one bitchin’ hang over. (Via Julius)

- Last widow of Civil War veteran dies - Speaking of 21, this gal married an 81-year old Confederate veteran by the name of William Jasper Martin, when she was 21. They met, got twitterpatted and the rest was history. (Via Karen)

- Potty-Mouthed Programmers - If you’re ever really bored one day, instead of just reading my blog, read the comments of the Linux kernel. There you can pick up all sorts of geek vernacular juxtaposed euphonic swear words.

- Job Titles of the Future - I like the sound of Creatologist and Animation Skeptic. Though Director of Fun has a certain mesmerizing ring to it. (Via ibergus)

Now here’s where all two of my audience members get to guess as to what this alien insect (on the left) is in the photo. (Via Fulton Chain):

Chirp chirp, creak creak

A month ago my arch-nemesis, David Veksler, made a post regarding a new television show on Showtime called Bullshit! In addition to receiving the highly sought after Tim Swanson Stamp of Damntasticness Approval, it’s brought to you by a pair of unlikely entertainers (at least to me), infamous magicians and charmers Penn & Teller.

The shows format is thus: a 30-minute mockumentary ridiculing current events, fads and superstitions. The actual topics that they jeer, jive and debullshitize include:

- Feng Shui & Bottled Water
- Environmental Hysteria
- Talking to the Dead
- Smoking and Babies
- Plastic Surgery
- And much much more

And yea I am biased, P & T are admitted evil libertarian atheists — a double whammy.

It doesn’t even get a D- in my book. Or Boudreaux’s.

What goes creep in your East African night? What frightens venomous scorpions into fleeing with their tail between their legs? What can consume a large marsupial (possibly an Almiqui) in two shakes of a lambs tail?

If you answered, Pee-wee Herman or Ernest Worrell for any of the above, you’re a sick sick individual.

The Driver ant is of course, the correct answer. These bitchin’ blind six-legged creatures redefine the rules of the food chain. As I briefly discussed their cousins in my abbreviated ode to MacGyver.

After watching “Killer Ants” on the Discovery Channel today these mofos are in need of a major image make-over as they have many beneficial qualities in addition to their painful poisonous pinchers: they can cook, clean and create carbon-copies of themselves (50,000 no less) all in one rotation of terra firma.

So have you hugged a Formicidae today?

For the past week I’ve been helping a family member move to a new domicile. Unfortunately, my current residence is also included in the move, so I have had to leach terminal time from charitable amigos. Anyways, a blog that I’ve always found amusing with interesting anecdotes is that of Isaac Waisberg, aka ibergus (it’s Yiddish slang for “kiss the cook“). Below are a few neat-o posts by Waisbergesteinoskyilovich:

- Traffic Design - More roads does not solve congestion problems. Whodathunkit.

- An Economic Catastrophe - Seen the new movie showing LA being trounced by tornados? Check out similar exaggerations from an economist.

- God Hates Shrimp - Just like God Hates Mimes.