7/22/2004

They don’t google like they used to

Filed under: Highly Comical — Tim @ 11:09 am

Circa 1960:

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Via Peat-black-helicopters-are-chasing-me-Luke.

Dangit, censor this blog you fudge monkey

Filed under: Weird News — Tim @ 5:35 am

Vandal Edits Swear Words in Library Books:

LAYTON, Utah — A self-appointed editor of library books has given new meaning to “purple prose.” The do-it-yourself censor is turning swear words into “darns” and “hecks” — in purple ink.

“They believe it’s within their right to deface public property and impose what they believe on others,” library director Pete Giacoma said.

“It’s a crime. It would be prosecuted if we were to find who did it, by luck or accident,” he said.

Destroying or defacing library materials is a class B misdemeanor. It’s punishable by up to six months in jail and a $1,000 fine, but Giacoma said the library usually will settle for restitution.

“I think the worry of the public, every once in a while, is that we’re doing it,” he said. “We’re not.”

Giacoma said in cases like this, the vandals will usually tire of editing books and stop on their own.

My first semester at A&M included numerous run-ins with Savonarola-wannabe’s who would partake and condone in sanctimonious activities like that. Bunch of griefers.

Via Fun With Headlines.

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Dying for Implants

Filed under: Highly Comical — Tim @ 2:24 am

Report: Bigger breasts offered as perk to soldiers:

NEW YORK (Reuters) — The U.S. Army has long lured recruits with the slogan “Be All You Can Be,” but now soldiers and their families can receive plastic surgery, including breast enlargements, on the taxpayers’ dime.

The New Yorker magazine reports in its July 26th edition that members of all four branches of the U.S. military can get face-lifts, breast enlargements, liposuction and nose jobs for free — something the military says helps surgeons practice their skills.

“Anyone wearing a uniform is eligible,” Dr. Bob Lyons, chief of plastic surgery at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio told the magazine, which said soldiers needed the approval of their commanding officers to get the time off.

Between 2000 and 2003, military doctors performed 496 breast enlargements and 1,361 liposuction surgeries on soldiers and their dependents, the magazine said.

The magazine quoted an Army spokeswoman as saying, “the surgeons have to have someone to practice on.”

Wow, I’m definitely going to reenlist — sign me up!

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Soldiers of Tomorrow