“I was Bigfoot’s love slave, now I’m pregnant with that SOB”s baby!”
That was the headline for this week’s issue of the infamous WWN. I liked it so much I admittedly, in the middle of the public eye during the day at a Wal-mart, bought a copy of WWN — encouraging the editors and publishers to publish more drivel. And I was rewarded with the following information:
- Explorer discovers ‘Fountain of Old’: Water instantly ages you 30 years!
- NASA probe has spotted the BUTT on Mars: Jennifer Lopez assets may have inspired the mysterious monument
- Rich people can’t read: Their servants do it for them
- God created woman to provide man with sex & beer: New Bible chapter’s politically incorrect revelation
- New club drug makes straight men gay for a day
- Amish phone sex chat line a huge hit: “I, too, am moist, Samuel… from the day’s plowing!”
- Atheist missionaries are spreading the words… there is no God!
- International house of testicles restaurant closes after one day: the decision was tough to swallow
- Exposed terrorist plot to kidnap sexy waitresses: Al Qaeda plans to replace big-boobed American gals with overweight Iraqi burqas
- Chances are you’ll be Left Behind: How to live it up during the End Times
- The oldest whorehouse in Texas: no prostitutes under 90 years old!
- And much much more!
One of the more flattering exposés included that of Kim Il Jong in drag. Gotta love that guys personality.
Also, I joined a free Fantasy Football league from Best Buy — just look up the user Tejano to see how much I trounce j00.