Here’s the scenario. It’s the last play of practice. The kicker smacks the top of the ball sending it end over end whereupon it just barely bounces into your hands while you’re in mid-stride. You juke to the left and send a defensive player head over heals. You make a b-line down field with only one player to beat. Huffing and puffing, your cleats dig in and rip through the dry earth spraying torn grass and dust everywhere. You can beat him, you’ve done it before and he’s not that big.
Thud.
Falling to the ground you realize your name is not Barry Sanders and homey doesn’t play that way. Now that you can have tea time there are a number of things to keep in mind until you come about:
10. Sex. Pure, unadulterated heterosexual lube-free intercourse. If you’re going to be knocked out, at least trick your mind into believing you’re having a good time. And like they say, if you can visualize a course of action, then you should be able to fulfill it more easily when the time cums.
9. Food. Four words. All You Can Eat. In the mood for some T-bone? What about a scrumptious scone or crusty crumpet? Did somebody say parfait?
8. Libertarian utopia. Let’s be honest with ourselves guys. You can be a nerd and no one will know. So do a little bit of role-playing and forget for the moment that the only political inroads libertarians have and will make is on PTA boards, Recycling commissions and Adopt-A-Highway committees.
7. null
Yea, I lied. I had a minor knockout last night and really can’t count backwards past 8.
A couple of A&M happenings: I successfully “rushed” into One Army (it’s like a frat, but not) and we have a retreat tonight so I won’t have time to talk smack about you and your mom. And if you’re interested, my first Rugby match is next weekend. A&M’s off-campus Bonfire has it’s First Cut this weekend. Ask me if you want more details.
Lastly, Woot.com was recently brought to my attention. They sell one cool gadget per day until it is sold out (or midnight). Good stuff.