Doctor Recommended
100% All Natural

UK to pump greenhouse gas under sea:

Proposals to store tens of millions of tonnes of carbon dioxide under the seabed are to be unveiled by ministers tomorrow in a dramatic attempt to tackle global warming.
[...]
Experts who back the proposal claim that, technically, the UK could store all its carbon emissions for more than 100 years in exhausted oil and gas fields in the North Sea. Around the world, similar projects could theoretically hold all man-made carbon emissions.

They claim the gas will be safely trapped in the bedrock for tens of thousands of years or more - long enough for the human race to stop and even reverse global warming, and to find a long-term alternative to the use of fossil fuels.
[...]
The revolutionary technique involves pumping liquified carbon dioxide at high pressure from places such as coal- and gas-fired power stations along pipes on the ocean floor.
[...]
But the scheme will be heavily criticised by environment groups such as Greenpeace. It claims the plan is a technically unproven “distraction” from the real task of deeply cutting our use of oil, gas and coal.

Blake Lee Harwood, Greenpeace’s head of campaigns, said: “This is the big excuse that oil giants like Exxon and Texaco are looking for, to avoid having to do anything about climate change. They will be dancing for joy at the prospect of a huge international push in this direction.”

Oh how terrible it is to come up with an alternative plan to cleaning up pollution that does not require a reduction in consumption or production of a fossil fuel.

Quite the novel idea, if I do say so myself. In fact, I actually came up with a similar idea for a 2nd grade Invention Convention contest but was told that it was impracticle — which scarred me for life…

Via Mike Ewens.

The Difference Between Men and Women:

What’s the most effective pickup line on a college campus? Psychologists Elaine Hatfield and Russ Clark had actors (independently judged to be attractive) approach students of the opposite sex with a variety of lines and recorded their success rates. The lines were:

1) I’ve been noticing you around campus and I find you attractive. Would you go out with me tonight?

2) I’ve been noticing you around campus and I find you attractive. Would you come over to my apartment tonight?

3) I’ve been noticing you around campus and I find you attractive. Would you sleep with me tonight?

The success rates, as reported separately in two of my favorite popular science books, Steven Pinker’s How the Mind Works and David Barash and Judith Lipton’s Myth of Monogamy:

	Will you go out with me tonight?	Will you come over to my apartment tonight?	Will you go to bed with me tonight?
Male Respondents	50%	69%	75%
Female Respondents	50%	6%	0%

I think this study needs to be conducted on my campus as well, just to verify the empirical outcome…

Reminds me of an ad I always wanted to write on philanthropy:

All-male student organization offers free breast examinations

Thanks, all be here all week.

As I was sitting in the student hospital (I swear I have ebola or some motherfucking nasty strain of mono, totally sucks), I noticed a small article in the bottom right corner of the school paper: “Weekly Reader poll predicts victory.”

The jist of the article is that out of the 325,000 students in grades 1-12 whom voted in a mock election, Bush garnered a land slide win of 65%. Say what you will about demographics and random sample sizes, the Weekly Reader poll has predicted each and every victory since the Eisenhower administration. Because most students in this age group tend to simply echo the viewpoints of their parents (I know I did back in the day), the results can be seen essentially as if the parents themselves had voted.

At any rate, I spoke with both Stephan Kinsella and Jeremy Sapienza and mentioned that I thought Bush would emerge “victorious” (no matter who runs in an election, the State always wins). I really don’t have any compelling evidence to support my hunch, but Radley Balko had something of interest I thought would tickle your fancy:

Or maybe Kerry is a blowhard elitist who has the charisma of August roadkill on Texas asphalt.

The incumbent has, with a friendly Congress, run up a massive deficit; trampled on civil liberties; taken us to war under false pretenses, with no fall-back plan, and alienated from the world in the process; broken countless campaign promises; run the most secretive administration in history; and after the biggest mass murder in U.S. history, done very little to make us safer.

And your guy is barely tied with him.

Shouldn’t that tell you something?

Now realize, Radley thinks that the two blokes are total schmucks, choads, douches, charlatans and pretty much any other pejorative you could wordsmith, so this is not an endorsement for either gas bag. Still the same, he has a point — how on Zeus’s green earth do you merely stay tied to a nutjob like Bush?

If you have the time, I think you’ll enjoy what the editors at Reason put together for this election.

All hail the paternal State, Bush Signs Law Banning Certain Steroid-Like Drugs:

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - President Bush signed a law on Friday banning certain steroid-like drugs, used by some athletes as performance enhancers.

The new law adds 18 substances to the list of banned anabolic steroids, including androstenedione, also known as “andro,” which was made famous by baseball slugger Mark McGwire in the 1990s.

When injected, these substances metabolize into testosterone or other illicit steroids, and federal regulators have been seeking to crack down on the makers of these drugs.

“Steroid use by young people is a serious health issue,” said Sen. Joseph Biden, who crafted the measure.

“This new law sends a strong message about andro and other steroid precursors. We are calling them what they really are: drugs, performance enhancing drugs,” the Democrat from Delaware said.

The newly signed “Anabolic Steroid Control Act of 2004,” also requires a review of federal sentencing guidelines for offenses involving anabolic steroids. It calls for criminal penalties for those caught making, selling or possessing the substances.

The new law also provides $15 million for education programs to teach children about the dangers of steroids.

As seen above, everyone’s favorite freedom fighter took the War on Drugs to the gym, because enhancing and honing your athletic abilities should be done without the use of biochemical stimulants.

As an athlete that has used andro and currently has some Methyl-1-T sitting on his desk (dare I admit it?), I am curious to know what constitutes a “performance enhancing drug.” Why isn’t a Subway sandwich considered a performance enhancing drug? What about Gatorade? What about water? Each of these substances aid in ones physical development and allow the athlete to perform at a certain level above-and-beyond those individuals who do not use them.

It is one thing for a league, competition, team, venue, etc. to ban a set of drugs (such as the Olympics or MLB), as these are organizations that you voluntarily join and can leave if so desired, but the State is an entity which you are required to submit to (i.e., you are not given the opportunity to leave or say “no” — you must comply or else…).

While I will not argue against the fact that using pro-hormone-based products improperly can create unsightly or dangerous side-effects (acne, ‘bitch-tits,’ shrinkage-of-captain-commando, etc.), the same can be said for a number of other legal products such as aspirin or the consumption of movie theater popcorn. Unfortunately for the body building community (and anyone else including those in physical therapy), personal responsibility has been stripped from individuals, taken by the Nanny State, for our own protection.

The sheer smug self-righteousness that the legislators revel in reminds me of what the city council in College Station did this past year. Bible-thumping social conservatives managed to enact a policy which required the Adult Video store to remove the word “Adult” from the side of its building — it is now simply the “Video” store on the corner of University and Texas Avenue.

The Final Word With Jerry Springer

If you do not like a product, or want your children or loved ones to use it, try a simple concept and don’t use it. Preventing others from purchasing a product or forcing companies to shut down or cater to your moral pietistic life style is childish. Remember, if nothing else, you can vote on it.

The word Fascism has now no meaning except in so far as it signifies ’something not desirable.’ – George Orwell, 1946

I spent some time this weekend trying to recall any one particular article, paper or book that I had read that thoroughly convinced me not to participate in the dog and pony show known as voting. For one reason or another, Frederic Bastiat’s 19th century musings stuck out more than any:

A closer examination of the subject shows us the motive which causes the right of suffrage to be based upon the supposition of incapacity. The motive is that the elector or voter does not exercise this right for himself alone, but for everybody. The most extended elective system and the most restricted elective system are alike in this respect. They differ only in respect to what constitutes incapacity. It is not a difference of principle, but merely a difference of degree.If, as the republicans of our present-day Greek and Roman schools of thought pretend, the right of suffrage arrives with one’s birth, it would be an injustice for adults to prevent women and children from voting. Why are they prevented? Because they are presumed to be incapable. And why is incapacity a motive for exclusion? Because it is not the voter alone who suffers the consequences of his vote; because each vote touches and affects everyone in the entire community; because the people in the community have a right to demand some safeguards concerning the acts upon which their welfare and existence depend.

My life is not a public policy issue, nor do I find it the business of the American people to decide what I can do with my pinky toe, lock of hair, earwax, gluteus maximus, nose freckle or a theoretical cheek dimple. The State does not own my body, my parents do not own my body, my neighbor does not own my body and most importantly, you do not own my body.

I would find it insulting, degrading and scandalous to see my name on a ballot with a grocery list of legislation by which everyone could choose to enact.

Would it not be nauseating to see a banner on CNN with your name:

Decision Tim Swanson 2004: America Decides

Would you not be horrified to see a red, white and blue pennant perpetually floating on FOX encrusted with your name:

Election 2004: Voters Gerrymander Tim Swanson

Would the macabre site of watching a self-professed expert on you not create a loathsome reality to live in:

The Institute of Public Wonkery: Director of Tim Swanson Studies

Yet whether your 10th grade civics class illustrated democracy with this example or not, this is exactly how the political circus operates. Scads of think-tanks exist solely to propose edicts and statutes by which Person A, Group B and Business C should interact. Furthermore, there are countless councils and committees from the local to the global deciding the fate of your life under the rubric of a clichéd freedom.

Through the jingoistic actions of the political class, the word Freedom has now no meaning except in so far as it signifies ‘something to vote on.’ To the end of Bastiatian safeguards, if one supports self-defense and self-preservation, one would be justified utilizing toothpicks, sharpened pencils, sporks and nail filers in preventing any and all persons from the canard of voting.

David Skarbek linked to a documentary entitled “Brainwashing 101” which discusses speech codes and various biases that occur on a number of different college campuses across the country. Boiling it down to some smooth broth it appeared to be yet another screed of “liberals are evil and use their position in academia to fill your head with evil brain droppings!”

I watched it and would give it a 2-out-of-5 stars for a number of different reasons. It had potential but could not deliver a consistent blow to the ivory tower windbag ideologues that it sought to expose. In fact, out of the three case studies shown in the promo, only one of them came across without resorting to hearsay, conjecture and anecdotal evidence — the Cal Poly flier bugaboo. The other two (regarding his Alma Mater and Tennessee) had some good points but left me wanting more, especially after several interviewees mentioned what they “had heard” but had no tangible proof of (that’s Lionel Hutz type of evidence).

The way I tried to view the film was through the eyes of someone who had not attended college and was for all intents and purposes a middle-of-the-road moderate who really did not follow any political movement or ideology. And I felt myself needing more Cal Poly examples to buttress any claim of a vast conspiracy by “los liberals diablos!” An “evil liberal” could have easily done the same thing if they visited a number of different private religious institutions and even various state-run facilities as well.

My own personal experiences are simply that while it is true, some professors have some sort of partisan bias towards a certain point-of-view, a discriminating student should research the topics being discussed independently, rather than simply buying the screed hook, line and sinker (you go to more than one doctor to get an opinion on an ailment or procedure, why not do the same for other types of information?).

Lastly, I found the Fellowship 9/11 parody to be quite creative and very resourceful in its attempts to lampoon Moore’s documentary — unlike MMHA, I doubt that Moore wakes up in the morning and schemes all day long as to how he can bring about the demise of the West. I could be wrong though. Just like Y2K.

I’m going to have to disagree with my comrade in arms, Mike Ewens, regarding Team America: World Police. I really didn’t find it that funny, it was even borderline suckage.

It reminded me of Will Ferrell movies, where there is a bunch of top-notch talent on the screen at the same time, but for whatever ill-advised reason, each joke can be boiled down to some half-witted slapstick formula. And that’s the way TA turned out to be.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of South Park (Timmeyh!), but this was like the last episode of Seinfeld - hit and miss.

It could be that the jokes got old after the first time they were used, like the acronym for the Film Actors Guild — just like the For Me To Poop On Dog was funny for all of two seconds (I mean, it was rather droll to see a sock puppet interupt, in Ali G fashion, a conversation with something as tangental as feces). The theme song was great when it was first played, but then you realized it didn’t go anywhere and sounded like a song you’d hear at a NASCAR race, redneck and jingoistic. Marionette sex? That was retarded… sex requires penetration and juices, right? Stereotypical Hollywood liberals? AM Talk Radio has made it a little old at this point.

What I would have liked to have seen was lots of neocon bashing, because for all the hoopla surrounding how both “liberals” and “conservatives” alike would be offended, I found it lacking in that area. All they had to do was get a handful of hawks like O’Reilly, Coulter, Feith, Rove, Krauthammer and Kristol, spread eagle in one gigantic clusterfuck in Ariel Sharon’s office. Then out of nowhere and without any real reason, they commit mass suicide a la Jonestown style, by drinking the kosher blood of Dubya.

Though even a party pooper like me enjoyed at least two antics, the Matt Damon schtick (reminded me of Brick from Anchorman) and the Islamofascist lingo filled with dirka dirka.

In summation, as I consider Dr. Strangelove to be the bar by which satires are made, this one didn’t even come close.

COLLEGE STATION, TX – To get into the spirit of the times, an intern at Movementarian.com created a Rock the Vote campaign to encourage and express the dignified time-honored ritual of Yea’s and Nay’s.

Hi, I’m Justin Timberlake. You might know me as a pop culture icon, but underneath that image is a man dedicated to civics and the community.

I’d like to remind everyone that if you don’t vote, then you won’t get your chance to force others around. In fact, you’d have no right to complain when people forced you around, because you forfeited your opportunity to defend yourself or force them to do what you want.

In many other countries citizens don’t get the chance to force others around, imagine not having that ability. It is a shame so many eligible voters here do not take an hour out of their day to go and get their beliefs enforced. If more people did that we would surely have a more Utopic society.

Remember, thousands of people have sacrificed their lives so you can have the right to force their children to fight for that right.

Vote: it’s easier than getting a life

Oh, and it gets better. Every time you want something done, every time you get upset at someone, every time you want a cheaper electric bill; we are here for you. Every time you want an orchestra, a zoo or a museum; we are here for you. Every vote counts, you can make the difference and affect the lives of thousands.

Want a new sidewalk in front of your house? Short on cash? No problem, just go vote on it. Get other people to pay for it. You’ll get that sidewalk for little Jimmy and Suzy to ride their bikes on. Remember, it’s not like the money is theirs, they probably stole it. They could’ve voted against it too. Besides it’s not like those people have priorities of their own, you are more important.

Tired of how much it costs to feed your kids? No problem, just go vote on it. In no time at all a free lunch system will come to a cafeteria near you. And the best part about it? Yup, it doesn’t cost you a penny.

Sick of driving past people with no cars? Feel sorry for them? No problem, just vote on it. In two shakes of a lamb’s tail your area will have a transportation system to feel proud of. No more panhandlers, no more ghettos, you have made a difference in these people’s lives and best of all everyone wins. You are happy, they are happy, what more needs to be said? Besides, it’s environmentally safe.

Are you getting the message now? Why pay for things out of your hard earned cash, when a faceless individual 1500 miles away can. It’s not like you are ever going to see that guy and let’s face it, he has too much money… let’s help him out a bit.

Vote: it’s easier than getting a job

Here is a short list of real-world historical examples for you to dwell upon:

- Tired of driving your kids to school and back? Wish someone else could do it?
- Tired of teaching your kids how to read, write and what to think? Wish someone else could?
- Tired of dehumanizing, manipulating and abusing your child? Wish other kids could do that for you?
- Tired of paying back debts? Need powerful bankruptcy protection?
- Tired of what other people believe? Wish they thought more like you?
- Tired of small wages? Raise your net worth in just minutes.
- Sick of qualified people taking your job? Want job security?
- Sick of brown people walking around, mowing lawns and speaking another language?
- Disgusted with the smell of tobacco or the stench of alcohol? No problem.
- Forgot to save? Want to retire?
- Medical bills piling up? Why pay when someone else can?
- Think the earth is flat? Tired of evolution?
- Know the Four Horsemen of the Appocalypse? Want to make a prophecy come true?
- Like the smell of napalm? Wish others can too?
- Like Shamu and Flipper? Love redwood trees?
- Work hard on that painting? Wish someone had to buy it from you?

And citizens, this is just the tip of the iceberg. When you register today, not only do you get to vote on all of these issues, but also incarcerate one (1) druggie. In fact, act now and we’ll send you two (2) voter cards, one for yourself and the other for a significant other. Imagine all the possibilities that you two could do. Terrorific.

Vote: it’s easier than getting laid

This message was provided in part by:

Google released another whiz-bang widget, the Google Desktop Search utility. It searches your emails, files, IM conversations and web history, indexing them for your enjoyment and googling needs.

While wannabe polymath’s such as myself rejoice with this new product, horny 14-year old boys are writhing in pain — knowing that their secret porno collection has just been exposed.

In retrospect, there are a number of gizmos that I would have loved to have had as a kid (like a cell phone or laptop) and this piece of free software definitely ranks up there, right next to the BeOS.

Note: here is my year-old quasi pseudo prediction that a feature like this was in the works.

MTV has a ridiculous campaign promoting the need to “vote for something” so as long as you at least vote. Ignoring for the moment the farce of majoritarianism and its god, democracy, this statement smacks of irresponsibility because it does nothing to educate anyone about cause, effect and decision making:

Vote for pro-slinky reform, it’s about time we crack down on free-wheeling kinetic energy.
Vote for pro-tanning zoning laws, no more pale skinned punnies walking down these beautiful streets.
Vote for pro-holiday transformation, because Halloween should never be on a Sunday.
…
Vote for the end to women’s suffrage, because they’ve suffered long enough.

Godwin’s Law can tell you something about plebiscites in the good ole days. Why vote for the lesser of two evils when you can vote for the greatest, Cthuhlu? Or as Homer aptly puts it, “don’t blame me, I voted for Kodos.”

Speaking of years of yore, just over 16 years ago, on October 3rd 1988, the non-partisan League of Women Voters, whom had sponsored the presidential debates for the previous 20 years, issued the following damning statement:

The League of Women Voters is withdrawing sponsorship of the presidential debates … because the demands of the two campaign organizations would perpetrate a fraud on the American voter. It has become clear to us that the candidates’ organizations aim to add debates to their list of campaign-trail charades devoid of substance, spontaneity and answers to tough questions. The League has no intention of becoming an accessory to the hoodwinking of the American public.

Radley pointed to that historical footnote and ends with tying in the classic proverb, “the enemy of my enemy is my friend.” Although I too am not a fan of Nader Raiders, I’d rather hang out with them than a hawkish neocon any day of a Thermidorian week.

If I taught a class on creative writing I’m fairly certain I would integrate spam mail into the curriculm. As annoying as it is to find it filling your inbox, it is a fantastic example of thinking outside the box. In fact, they’ve almost become the fortune cookies of TEH INTARWEB era. Not only do you get winning lottery numbers and cryptic Yoda-like messages, but you continually find long lost Nigerian heirs worth large fortunes and huge tracts of land.

Gene “love it or leave it” Callahan has some interesting musings regarding the land that Will built.

Apropos Mike Ewens and SpaceShipOne: “If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. When it stops moving, socialize it.” [Agnosiophobia].

Quote of the day:

The idea that Osama bin Laden and his cohorts, sitting in a cave somewhere in Afghanistan, suddenly came upon a copy of the Bill of Rights, and were so outraged that they decided to put a big dent in the New York City skyline is absolute nonsense. The last time we had a problem with these people was back in the late eighteenth century, when the Barbary pirates decided to hijack American shipping. To imagine that, suddenly, the Muslim world has decided to go on a crusade against America because we’re so rational, so tolerant, so wonderful, and so free is narcissism, pure and simple — and just plain wrong. [Via LibertarianJackass].

How The West Wasn’t Won:

This country was bounded to the West by a desert. One day a telescope built on one of the country’s mountains revealed what looked like sea far away beyond the desert which would have to be crossed in order to discover if there was habitable land on the coast. So the politicians got together and established a government agency to send some people through the desert. They called it the National Agricultural Frontier Administration, NAFA for short, and charged it with a dramatic task to demonstrate the vigour of the nation: it would carry out a “mission” to send people right through the desert to the West coast of the continent and bring them back safely, within a decade.

Ig Nobel Prize in Economics, the Vatican for Outsourcing Prayer:

With Roman Catholic clergy in short supply in the United States, Indian priests are picking up some of their work, saying Mass for special intentions, in a sacred if unusual version of outsourcing.

American, as well as Canadian and European churches, are sending Mass intentions, or requests for services like those to remember deceased relatives and thanksgiving prayers, to clergy in India.

Student carries grad student to class to help with open-book exam:

A professor announces that the upcoming final examination is open-book and students may use “anything they can carry into the classroom.” One student takes the instructor at his word and struggles into class hauling a graduate student on his back; the graduate student then proceeds to write the exam for him.

God Still Ignoring Sports-Related Prayers:

CHICAGO—Responding to a flurry of prayers from Boston and Chicago, God reasserted his steadfast position that he is still ignoring all sports-related prayers through the 2003-2004 seasons.

Patri Friedman: Producing legislation without using economics is like typing at a terminal with no screen. Something is going to happen, but it may not be at all what you wanted. This is an especially bad idea when, like Congress, you have root access.

Don Boudreaux penned a short list of economists he think should have won the nobel prize if they had been alive during its tenure.

The Misanthropic Bitch: “Never forget” is more empty jingoism (”Let’s roll; Support the troops”) meant to invoke a sense of outrage and moral superiority in Americans. We’re better than them because we honor our politically convenient dead again and again and again — to the point that, three years later, we demand “proper burial” for microscopic dust that may or may not contain what passes for human remains.

Via Jonathan Dingel and Clay Shonkwiler.

Brothers and sisters, vote or die!

Remember, that everything was gravy 50 years ago. Never mind the decrease in infant mortality or the jump in cosmetic makeovers (seriously, I think men and women today can look and feel better than their counterparts from those ‘good ole days’ - you don’t have to be mas rico to look like a model).

And what’s the deal with those trendy lowerback tatoos? I think LJ probably sponsored that video.

Educated quote of the day:

Richard Cantillon (1680?-1734) was an Irishman with a Spanish name that wrote his book in French. He is one of the richest economists to ever practice the dismal science. In addition to being charged with murder twice, he was accused of financial mischief with his role in the infamous “South Sea Bubble”. Cantillon was murdered in his sleep, burned by a servant he had recently fired.

Via Jesse Ogden and Jason Ditz.