COLLEGE STATION, TX – To get into the spirit of the times, an intern at Movementarian.com created a Rock the Vote campaign to encourage and express the dignified time-honored ritual of Yea’s and Nay’s.
Hi, I’m Justin Timberlake. You might know me as a pop culture icon, but underneath that image is a man dedicated to civics and the community.
I’d like to remind everyone that if you don’t vote, then you won’t get your chance to force others around. In fact, you’d have no right to complain when people forced you around, because you forfeited your opportunity to defend yourself or force them to do what you want.
In many other countries citizens don’t get the chance to force others around, imagine not having that ability. It is a shame so many eligible voters here do not take an hour out of their day to go and get their beliefs enforced. If more people did that we would surely have a more Utopic society.
Remember, thousands of people have sacrificed their lives so you can have the right to force their children to fight for that right.
Vote: it’s easier than getting a life
Oh, and it gets better. Every time you want something done, every time you get upset at someone, every time you want a cheaper electric bill; we are here for you. Every time you want an orchestra, a zoo or a museum; we are here for you. Every vote counts, you can make the difference and affect the lives of thousands.
Want a new sidewalk in front of your house? Short on cash? No problem, just go vote on it. Get other people to pay for it. You’ll get that sidewalk for little Jimmy and Suzy to ride their bikes on. Remember, it’s not like the money is theirs, they probably stole it. They could’ve voted against it too. Besides it’s not like those people have priorities of their own, you are more important.
Tired of how much it costs to feed your kids? No problem, just go vote on it. In no time at all a free lunch system will come to a cafeteria near you. And the best part about it? Yup, it doesn’t cost you a penny.
Sick of driving past people with no cars? Feel sorry for them? No problem, just vote on it. In two shakes of a lamb’s tail your area will have a transportation system to feel proud of. No more panhandlers, no more ghettos, you have made a difference in these people’s lives and best of all everyone wins. You are happy, they are happy, what more needs to be said? Besides, it’s environmentally safe.
Are you getting the message now? Why pay for things out of your hard earned cash, when a faceless individual 1500 miles away can. It’s not like you are ever going to see that guy and let’s face it, he has too much money… let’s help him out a bit.
Vote: it’s easier than getting a job
Here is a short list of real-world historical examples for you to dwell upon:
- Tired of driving your kids to school and back? Wish someone else could do it?
- Tired of teaching your kids how to read, write and what to think? Wish someone else could?
- Tired of dehumanizing, manipulating and abusing your child? Wish other kids could do that for you?
- Tired of paying back debts? Need powerful bankruptcy protection?
- Tired of what other people believe? Wish they thought more like you?
- Tired of small wages? Raise your net worth in just minutes.
- Sick of qualified people taking your job? Want job security?
- Sick of brown people walking around, mowing lawns and speaking another language?
- Disgusted with the smell of tobacco or the stench of alcohol? No problem.
- Forgot to save? Want to retire?
- Medical bills piling up? Why pay when someone else can?
- Think the earth is flat? Tired of evolution?
- Know the Four Horsemen of the Appocalypse? Want to make a prophecy come true?
- Like the smell of napalm? Wish others can too?
- Like Shamu and Flipper? Love redwood trees?
- Work hard on that painting? Wish someone had to buy it from you?
And citizens, this is just the tip of the iceberg. When you register today, not only do you get to vote on all of these issues, but also incarcerate one (1) druggie. In fact, act now and we’ll send you two (2) voter cards, one for yourself and the other for a significant other. Imagine all the possibilities that you two could do. Terrorific.
Vote: it’s easier than getting laid
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