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I travelled back to Dallas for Thanksgiving, man what a boring city.

Saw The Incredibles, great film.

Watched A&M lose to Texas yet again.

Played World of Warcraft and Halo 2. I didn’t play WoW long enough to see any huge differences between it and other MMORPGs, I’m still partial to City of Heroes. Halo 2 was kind-0f-fun, not a big fan of console FPS games (I like the mouse+keyboard).

While visiting Stonebriar Mall I observed that the younger a girl is, the sluttier she dresses. I think Peat would painstakingly agree.

Lastly, while fixing a friend’s computer I realized that PestPatrol and Ad Aware were designed by the gods themselves. Use them if you haven’t.

Extinction comic of the day via David.

Gene link to laziness:

EVER wondered why lounging in front of the television is more tempting than going for a jog? Perhaps you have the couch potato gene.

Scientists have discovered a new gene which confirms what many of us have long expected - some people just aren’t wired for exercise.

Professor Claude Bouchard presented his findings to the Australian Health and Medical Research Congress in Sydney this week.

He found that an individual’s propensity for physical activity could be traced to their genetic makeup.

“Our research has looked at the genetic basis of the fact that some people are more ‘trainable’ than others.

“Some people are not interested in being physically active and some people reap considerably greater benefits from an active lifestyle,” he said.

Professor Bouchard’s team at the Pennington Biomedical Research Centre in Louisiana, have been running a 12-year study performing genetic scans on subjects undergoing physical activity.

The findings suggest some people simply benefit more from exercising.

Based on my own life experiences, I have observed that motivation plays a big factor in the development of love handles and beer bellies… is there some “motivation” gene? Speaking of motivation and the lack thereof, those Demotivator posters are so grade-A. Check ‘em out.

Via DiVERSiONZ.

I was hanging out with a few of my One Army amigos last night at Taco Cabana when ESPN showed the Ron Artest vs. Detroit Fans fight. Does “freaking wow” do it justice? You can see all the action in this video (it has slow motion with commentary explaining the blow-by-blow).

As of right now, I’d have to agree with Radley Balko’s take on the situation:

Overarching reaction: I think professional athletes are generally spoiled, overpaid, and that for the most part, they underperform.

That said, I side almost 100% with the players in this one.

Maybe I’m biased because my team’s in the crosshairs, here. But I’m having a hard time seeing it any other way.

1) Ron Artest is a hothead. I have some affection for him because he’s on my team. But were I commissioner, I’d suspend for about five games, simply because you need to make it clear that a player should never go into the stands. Mostly because it’s stupid. These guys’ bodies are worth hundreds of millions of dollars. You can take on ten thousand fans.

All of that said, I can’t fault Artest for what he did. He removed himself from the altercation with Ben Wallace, and for that, was pegged in the side of the head with a full cup of beer. That’s assault (and battery), and I can’t begrudge the guy for defending himself. Somebody throws a full cup of beer at me in a bar, I go get him. NBA players understand that they have to put up with verbal abuse. They don’t have to put up with physical abuse.

I also have no problem with the swing Artest took at the guy on the court, nor with the one Jermaine O’Neal took, though at first blush both looked like sucker punches. Fans don’t belong on the court. And if you’re there, you’re de facto breaking the law, and if you’re there durnig a melee, your very presence indicates your intent to harm the players. You’re fair game.

Frankly, I’m proud of my guys for not taking shit from punk Detroit fans.

While I’m not going to excuse the rash behavior of Artest et al., I will state that I am more sympathetic towards the players than the ruckus impolite “fans.” Additionally, while the NBA has suspended Artest, O’Neal, Jackson and Wallace “indefinitely,” I think when the smoke clears everyone will get what they deserve. The fans that got punched shouldn’t have been throwing beer at athletes and expect zero-recourse from either the players or security. Players, while I have never been physically harassed at a sporting event (I have been heckled a numer of times), I would err on the side of caution and work with some dreaded lawyers before running into a hostile crowd.

I blame dihydrogen monoxide, without it none of this would have happened.

It has nearly been four years since I transferred to Texas A&M, from a large junior college up in Dallas. Prior to the start of Spring classes, new students had the option of attending what is called “Howdy Camp” — which is basically a three day retreat where you learn some of the traditions at A&M. One of the most significant and dare I say, emotional, times at an otherwise laugh-out-loud party fest (lots of fun & games) was the story of a young man named Timothy Doran Kerlee, Jr.

Five years ago, to the day, the world famous Aggie Bonfire collapsed, killing 12 students and injuring another 27. What Timothy did was nothing short of finest example of what the 12th Man represents: giving the gift of life to save someone else.

Before I go any further, here is the story of the 12th Man tradition:

The tradition of the Twelfth Man was born on the second of January 1922, when an underdog Aggie team was playing Centre College, then the nation’s top ranked team. As the hard fought game wore on, and the Aggies dug deeply into their limited reserves, Coach Dana X. Bible remembered a squad man who was not in uniform. He had been up in the press box helping reporters identify players. His name was E. King Gill, and was a former football player who was only playing basketball. Gill was called from the stands, suited up, and stood ready throughout the rest of the game, which A&M finally won 22-14. When the game ended, E. King Gill was the only man left standing on the sidelines for the Aggies. Gill later said, “I wish I could say that I went in and ran for the winning touchdown, but I did not. I simply stood by in case my team needed me.”

This gesture was more than enough for the Aggie Team. Although Gill did not play in the game, he had accepted the call to help his team. He came to be thought of as the Twelfth Man because he stood ready for duty in the event that the eleven men on the gridiron needed assistance. That spirit of readiness for service, desire to support, and enthusiasm helped kindle a flame of devotion among the entire student body; a spirit that has grown vigorously throughout the years. The entire student body at A&M is the Twelfth Man, and they stand during the entire game to show their support. The 12th Man is always in the stands waiting to be called upon if they are needed.

I am not at all religious nor do I believe there is an afterlife, however to this day I still get chills from telling other people the story of what this young man, Timothy Kerlee, sacrificed in order to help others. Below is an anonymous letter I found describing Timothy and the events surrounding his unfortunate death — it was the same story we were all told at Howdy Camp and one that reverberates for me more than any other story of a selfless act.

One more note, in an odd twist-of-fates, one of the survivors, John Comstock later enrolled at the same junior college I attended — we actually had the same Psychology class together back in the fall of 2000. His left leg was amputated below the knee and his right arm is partially paralyzed — but despite these hurdles he still gives education that good ole college try.

The Twelfth Man

The twelve young people who died were truly remarkable kids. They were scholars, student athletes, active in Boy Scouts, 4-H, Church groups, they were leaders. If you had to chose a dozen students to represent the best of Texas A&M, you probably wouldn’t do much better than these. I have just learned about Timothy Doran Kerlee, Jr. He was the twelfth student to die, when his life support was disconnected last Friday evening. Let me tell you about this amazing kid.

Tim graduated last year from Germantown High School in Germantown, Tennessee. He was an Eagle Scout, graduated third in his class, and was elected to his High School Hall of Fame. He was a student athlete, and a member of the National Honor Society. He was active in the youth group and drama club at his Methodist Church.

He was actively recruited by Texas A&M, and when he enrolled he tested out of his entire freshman year. That is how this 17-year-old could be classified as a sophomore. Tim’s father said that he was thrilled to be at A&M, and especially excited about Bonfire.

When the stack collapsed, his pelvis was crushed, his arm was broken, and his internal organs were scrambled like an omelet.

On the front page of Thursday’s Dallas Morning News is a large photo of the collapsed stack taken during the early part of the rescue effort. You can see a team working at the base of the logs to save a trapped student. About five feet above the rescue team is Tim Kerlee, reclining on a pile of logs, propped up on one elbow. Unless you look carefully at the photo you will probably not notice that his legs are lying in an odd position.

What was happening, according to the rescue teams, was that Kerlee was directing the teams to other students trapped in the stack. He kept telling them that he was O.K., and he directed rescuers to at least five other students before he allowed them to take him down from the stack.

He was taken into emergency surgery, and when they opened him up they found his organs so badly damaged that they couldn’t identify much of what they saw. They closed him up, wrapped him in a sheet to hold him together, and placed on life support. He lived long enough to see and speak to his parents. He was aware that he was dying and asked to be removed from life support. When his parents asked him why he wanted to, he asked them why he should fight for a few more days of life when he could be in Heaven with Jesus right now.

Well, he got his wish. I feel sorry that I never had a chance to know Tim Kerlee, but I praise God for kids like Tim Kerlee. If you had to pick a twelfth man you couldn’t do much better.

I attended the Bonfire Memorial ceremony today, along with thousands of other Aggies. If you are ever in the Bryan-College Station area and are interested in learning about or seeing the Memorial, I would be more than happy to show you this somber Spirit of Aggieland.

The Evolution of Ape Ejaculate:

You can see how mating systems affect evolution throughout the primate world of which we are a part. Chimpanzees, whose females are very promiscuous, tend to have little sexual dimorphism but a very large testes to body weight ratio. For them, the selective pressure is more heavily focused on post-copulatory sperm competition rather than simple fighting ability. Gibbons, on the other hand, are strictly monogamous. They have little sexual dimorphism and a small testes to body weight ratio. For them, there isn’t much competition to fight off rival males or to thwart rival sperm. We humans seem to be somewhat in the middle, with a moderate amount of sexual dimorphism and a moderate testes to body weight ratio, indicating that during our evolutionary past, we weren’t nearly as monogamous as we’d like to think. But at least we weren’t as slutty as the chimpanzees. (Our lack of total monogamy is corroborated by additional evidence from our genome, some of which Carl Zimmer talks about here.)

Slutty McSluterectus — our ancestors in years of yore. The best part of that post is the discussion on the weight to testes ratio, you just know some ethnobiologist was sitting around one day watching porno’s in order to conjure up that measurement. The sad part is that it’s probably valid…

No More Late Taxis!

There is no limit to the good that government can do. I recently blogged on the efforts of the Montgomery County Council in Maryland to protect us from inexpensive groceries. Now they have solved an even more pressing social problem—poor taxi service. From today’s Washington Post:

The Montgomery County Council plans to vote today on regulations aimed at upgrading taxi service in the county, long a target of customer complaints about late pickups, rude drivers and excessive fares.

If approved, the legislation would require cab companies to pick up customers within 20 minutes of receiving a call for service. Customers who prearrange service could be picked up no more than 10 minutes later than the time they requested. Fines could be issued if a certain percentage of customers was not picked up on time.

I always like legislation that requires something. Why stop at late cabs? Why not legislate niceness? Or clean hair? Or eternal life? Why not outlaw death? The problem with such legislation is always compliance. It’s all well and good to require that cabs be on time. But how do you get there from here?

Silas Barta and I (among others) used to joke about ‘minimum wage‘ (MW) laws in the same vain. Why stop at $5.25? Why not increase the MW to $1,000 hour? Or $1,000,000.

What legislators forget with ‘minimum wages‘ is that employers will only hire an individual if their productivity is able to at least match what they are being paid, or else they go out of business. If the employer is now required by law to only hire individuals whose productivity is at $5.25 they have created an artificial price floor which results in the unemployment of individuals unable to produce at the bare minimum (which unfortunately hits teenagers, elderly, “minorities” and other groups that the MW is specifically targeted to help!).

Back to the taxi chutzpah, be sure to finish reading Russell Roberts take on what is Seen and Unseen.

David Masten posted some brainstorming musings with regard to vaccines and drugs being produced and sold like computers. Then he finished up the exercise by discussing just the opposite, if computers were produced and sold like pharmaceuticals:

“Police raided a nerdy teen this morning - among the things found were soldering irons, oscilliscopes, compilers, and large numbers of first person shooter games and vehicle simulators…police estimate a street value of several billion dollars…�

While it is difficult to predict what the market would actually do (impossible even), David Skarbek had his own mental gymnastics earlier this month regarding a free-market in organs:

Many economists, such as William Barnett and David Kaserman, have suggested that a market in organs will save thousands of lives by creating an incentive for family members to part with a portion of their loved ones. Such policies are simple and sensible, such as one where people are allowed to sell the right to their organs after death for a price. This would increase the number of organs available thus saving lives. A logical extension of this idea is the right to sell your organs to needy patients when still alive. This will yield even more of the life saving products. Most of us would not sell a kidney for a mere $100 but perhaps for a $1,000,000 we would start thinking seriously. This benefits the seller, but even more importantly the buyer who has now literally had his life saved.

I think this is what van Gogh was trying to do back in the day, he just had poor presentation skills… lead by example.

Via LRC. Inspired by BIJ.

Quantum Astronomy: The Double Slit Experiment:

So light is both a particle and a wave. OK, kind of unexpected (like Jell-O) but perhaps not totally weird. But the double slit experiment had another trick up its sleeve. One could send one photon (or “quantum� of energy) through a single slit at a time, with a sufficiently long interval in between, and eventually a spot builds up that looks just like the one produced when a very intense (many photons) light was sent through the slit. But then a strange thing happened. When one sends a single photon at a time (waiting between each laser pulse, for example) toward the screen when both slits are open, rather than two spots eventually building up opposite the two slit openings, what eventually builds up is the interference pattern of alternating bright and dark lines! Hmm… how can this be, if only one photon was sent through the apparatus at a time?

The answer is that each individual photon must – in order to have produced an interference pattern — have gone through both slits! This, the simplest of quantum weirdness experiments, has been the basis of many of the unintuitive interpretations of quantum physics. We can see, perhaps, how physicists might conclude, for example, that a particle of light is not a particle until it is measured at the screen. It turns out that the particle of light is rather a wave before it is measured. But it is not a wave in the ocean-wave sense. It is not a wave of matter but rather, it turns out that it is apparently a wave of probability. That is, the elementary particles making up the trees, people, and planets — what we see around us — are apparently just distributions of likelihood until they are measured (that is, measured or observed). So much for the Victorian view of solid matter!

Funny story. A couple years ago (spring of ‘02) I was walking to the bus stop with a girl from my Renaissance history class. At one point through our conversation I looked at her sternly and asked: are you pro or anti matter? She actually tried to come up with an answer and reasoning to it.

I think she works at NASA now.

XBox Game Helps Gamers Get In Shape, Game Contains Workout Regimens, Recipes:

If you can’t afford a personal trainer, how about a virtual fitness trainer?

A new video game called Yourself!Fitness on XBox lets you set up a personal profile and walk through a fitness evaluation.

Based on that, the virtual personal trainer, named Maya, will create a customized health and fitness plan.

There is a memory chip in the game, so Maya can change your workouts based on your progress and your commitment to the program.

She can also integrate equipment you have at home into the workouts.

Yourself!Fitness has more than 500 unique exercises. There is also customized meal planning with more than 4,000 recipes.

Yourself!Fitness from responDesign will be available on PlayStation Two in January.

… I wonder if there are any cheat codes to that game (up up down down).

This reminds me of the efforts to promote Dance Dance Revolution as a legitimate tool for weight loss & physical fitness. Hey, if it works, don’t knock it.

Via DiVERSiONZ.

The irony meter jolted today, after reading about two girls-gone-wild within the historically stoic Royal Engineers regiment. The story goes something along the lines of: beer, inebriation, boobies, lap-dance, female fellatio, scones, tea and fig newtons.

When the Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse scandal broke, various pundits laughed it off saying, “boys will be boys.” So my question is, can I now empirically state that “girls will be girls?” Maybe not yet, but misogynists and chauvinists have two well-documented cases of why women should only work in the kitchen and not on the battlefield…

In any case, who is objectively hotter:

Lynndie “I-heart-dirty-greasy-unprotected-sex” England. Or the State of England, as represented in several blurred but skintitilating photos?

I should note that Jesse Ogden posits the possibility that the reason why the photos may have been blurred was because of poor dental hygiene. Though, to be fair, we have not seen Lynndie shirtless as of yet (god help us), so this may simply be a case of rotten apples and bruised oranges.

I thought I’d help all my fellow bloggers out there and point to some new plugins that will help aide in stifling our most loyal readers: spam bots.

The ever-geeky Anders Jacobsen pointed to some Movable Type and Word Press utilities that are quick, easy and painless to install (even for a wannabe nerd like myself).

For WordPress users, try John Sinteur’s plugin that utilizes the subrl.org public list. MT users (why do you still use it?), try out mt-dsbl.

Let me know how those turn out or if you know of any other ones on the burner (I also use Farook’s WPBlacklist and recommend Jay Allen’s MT equivalent).

Voting for Beer:

The competing “President of Beers” ad campaigns are vaguely amusing, but fortunately we don’t actually choose beer in a national election. Often, votes in a political election are compared with dollars spent in a market, but in reality elections and markets are two fundamentally different ways of selecting something.

Beer selection via bullets ballots:

- Whichever beer won would be the only beer available for the next four years.
- You would have to pay for the elected beer whether you liked it or not, or even if you didn’t drink beer.
- Even if you had no strong preference for Bud or Miller, you would be admonished to vote, as that would somehow, magically, improve the quality of the choice.
- If you did have a strong preference, some elementary math would tell you that voting for it would have essentially no chance of influencing the outcome.
- People would get in loud confrontational arguments on the merits of Bud vs. Miller. Even sober people.
- If you started talking about microbrews or imports, people would consider you a bit nutty.
- The Complete Joy of Homebrewing would be a book owned only by wacky anarchists.
- In order to appeal to the least common denominator, Miller and Budweiser would eventually come to have nearly identical, weak, flavors. Oh, wait.
- Despite this, people who had never tried other beers would insist that the two are quite different

Blah, more election tomfoolery you cry. It’s from one of my favorite columnists Andy Stedman (who also penned the Public Goods post many moons ago), so it’s good as gold.

In sporting news, the Ohio State University is under the microscope for allegedly violating NCAA fiduciary regulations. It is this authors most humble opinion, that the entire system is one big clusterfuck, as illustrated best by The Drake Group. Grey poupon anyone?

1. Method Of Shared Erotic Experience And Facilities For Same:

Lock yourself in your private pod, lie back in your hopefully-sanitized hot tub, and relax to the moans of your neighbors.

Is this life in poorly constructed apartment building? Nope, it’s orgy-lite.

Inspired by the success of Japanese “Love Hotels,” which cater to the needs of twenty-somethings that still live at home, pod loving is a half-rung up the respectability ladder from peep show booths. Will the pods catch on? The inventor must share the faith of Kevin Costner’s character in “Field of Dreams:” If you build it, they will come (pun intended).

IP attorney Stephan Kinsella pointed to ‘Patently Silly‘ a site dedicated to showing off the ingenuity and incredulity of the American Inventor.

See also, Insane Preposterousness and Robotic Ethics.

Circus Circus - In the tiny sovereign nation of Circus Circus, a strip club located within Elko, Minnesota, a patron of the club reports that seemingly unsolvable “public goods” problems get solved “all the time.”

“There were, like, eight or nine of us standing around a table watching this hot blonde dancer, and she says, ‘the panties don’t come off unless I see five dollars on the table,’” reported Ed Wilkerson, a third-year economics student at the University of Minnesota. “Now, I know from my economics classes,” he went on, “that she had created a public goods problem. Since her panties were either going to come off or not regardless of whether I threw down a dollar or not, it would be irrational for me to do so, and the same would go for all the other guys around the table. Clearly, the only way the panties were coming off would be if the government forced all of us to chip in, like, eighty cents, or blindfolded anyone who did not contribute.”

What happened next, though, was amazing. “Next thing I knew, there were five dollar bills on the table, and we all got to see one really trim racing strip. Me, I was in free rider city. I got distracted, and it wasn’t until a couple of hours and a few beers later that I realized what had happened.”

Ed now reports that he has been returning repeatedly to Circus Circus to do more “economics research.” This research involves going from table to table, noting on a clipboard who pays the strippers how much and how often, then interviewing them about their motivations for paying or not paying. He hopes to gather enough material for his thesis.

Al LaFontaine, owner and Sovereign of Circus Circus, reportedly has no plans to start solving this public goods problem by forcing people to give money to table dancers at gunpoint. He does, however, intend to tell his bouncers to “quit letting that creepy college kid with the clipboard in.”

Originally posted by Andy Stedman on Wednesday, November 20, 2002 - 03:55 AM WAST for Movementarian.com

I’ve been meaning to post something geeky that fellow Texan, Jacob Grier, discussed several weeks ago: the Gmail Drive. Basically it is an application that allows you to move files in and out of your Gmail account as if it was another drive on your computer. You can even log in and out of the multiple Gmail accounts you have been making for yourself, filling them with illegal arm-wrestling strategies and the formula to Coke.

I filled mine with photos of my days as a Nicaraguan contra and of chupacabras.

Also, DiVERSiONZ has a couple of good post-election posts. I’m really just writing this so my picture is formatted correctly (just kidding peat, I really visited Nebraska and posed as a Lincolnite, voting down your gambling ambitions and banning your beloved nicotine).

Bloody end to Christian challenge in the lions’ den:

A man “with psychological problems” leapt into the lions’ den at Taipei zoo yesterday to try to convert the king of beasts to Christianity.

He was bitten on the leg and arm for his efforts.

“Jesus will save you!” the 46-year-old man shouted at two lions lounging under a tree a few yards away at Taiwan’s main zoo.

“Come bite me!” he shouted, with both hands raised. And they did. Without panicking, the man fell back on a stone ridge, as one lion jumped at him, biting him in the arm. It then clawed at his trousers before retreating in a scene captured by television news cameras.

Guards and other zoo workers were alerted by the crowd and drove the lions away with water hoses.

Police shot the animals with tranquilliser darts.

The man, identified only by his surname, Chen, then calmly picked up his jacket and climbed out of the pen. He was taken to hospital for tests. “He had bite marks both at the front and back of his leg,” Dr Wang Yao-ching said.

Teng Hui-wen, a psychiatrist, said Chen had psychological problems.

“He took this dangerous action today because he imagined he heard voices,” Dr Teng said.

Last night Chen was under observation in hospital.

So my question is, what exactly did the Lions do wrong to deserve being shot with tranq darts? The humanity!

Via Jason Ditz.

It could be because no one has any good Buckeye jokes or that monogamous-minded Midwesterners are boring, in any case, at 9:27 am CST a supersaturation point was hit and we all moved on. I envisioned the morning-after something similar to Christmas morning where little Suzy gets a Malibu Stacy she really wanted and is as giddy as a school girl… whereas little Bobby got some Tony Robbins books on self-motivation and is less than enthusiastic. Or something like that.

Unfortunately, the humormill hasn’t produced anything yet, which is a real disappointment — I was looking forward to something that could distract me from politics and Wolf Blitzer’s demeanor for 30 seconds. The litmus test for ingenuity and sacrilege (similar to the purchasing-power parity of the Big Mac Index) was rather hit and miss today as The Onion really didn’t ROFL me.

So here is the eBay auction of the day, an X-Wing Fighter replica:

You are bidding on a shining example of British office stationary engineering at its finest.

This unique hand-crafted model is a simple yet elegant replica of an X-Wing fighter, as seen in the Star Wars films.

This is not a joke: bid to buy only! Replica X-Wing will only be sent when payment is received (or cleared if a cheque).

There’s no reserve as its impossible to put a value on this one-off piece of film memorabilia, so good luck and happy bidding!

Approx Size – Width : 5.5cm
Height : 2cm
Length: 4.5cm

For the Star Wars Fan that has everything!

Any bids over £10 will also receive a limited edition Elastic Band Death Star free of charge.

PS: X-Wing fighter can be sent in kit form if required.

I’ve actually been having difficulties finding any original satire or parody material to repost, maybe it’s a sign of the times or maybe I need to spend more time online than I do in meatspace.

At any rate, a friend sent me a link to a site called “Terrorist Media” which is basically a repository to all the kidnappings and beheadings that have gone on over the past year in Iraq. I really don’t have anything positive or negative to say about it, someone was bound to create it and if nothing else, maybe it will help turn would-be-chicken-hawks into advocates for non-intervention (or maybe give you second-thoughts on traveling there anytime soon).

And no, I didn’t vote, for the same reason I don’t rape or pillage. And before you call me out for being some pinko-commie-granola-cruncher, I ran the primaries, run-offs and general election back in 2000 and was fairly active in both the Republican and Constitution Parties throughout several years as an undergrad.

Eat my shorts.

   

Just reminding you where the spirit world stands on the issues.

Slashdot commentors have some amusing words of wisdom to impart upon us mere mortals (for the record, this doctor is a member of the Popular Front of Judea, not the Judean People’s Front).

Quote of the day:

“The government consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another, no special talent for the business of government; they have only a talent for getting and holding office. Their principal device to that end is to search out groups who pant and pine for something they can’t get and to promise to give it to them. Nine times out of ten that promise is worth nothing. The tenth time is made good by looting A to satisfy B. In other words, government is a broker in pillage, and every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.” H. L. Mencken