It’s that time of the year again, the end of it. And because I watched lots of movies and because every other blogger is doing the same thing, below is my take on the movies I managed to see while sober.
Top 5:
Napoleon Dynamite – funny because you know someone just like him, it was probably you too
The Butterfly Effect – great illustration of cause, effect and personal resposibility/ownership for actions; ending was depressing though
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind – original and a good “what if…”
Saved! – best documentary of the year
The Incredibles – good wholesome family fun that your in-laws would even enjoy
Could Have Been Better:
Walking Tall – more action, less love
I, Robot – replace Will Smith with a cardboard cutout of Tom Selleck
Dodgeball – Lance Armstrong was the funniest guy in it
Anachorman – Brick was the funniest guy in it
Hidalgo – not based on a True Story, inspired by a con-artist
Chronicles of Riddick – bad ending, script written by survivors of a Turkish prison
Team America: World Police – replace script with any episode of South Park
The Punisher – cheesy ending, should have shacked up with blonde neighbor
Kill Bill Vol. 2 – more action, less drama (although if viewed immediately after Vol. 1 it is pretty good)
Lost in Translation – either make it a thought-provoking drama or outlandish cultural comedy, it’s from late 2003 but I saw it in 2004
Spider-Man 2 – replace a stoned Kirsten Dunst with an inflatable doll
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban – needed a more climatic ending, even if it was not in the book
Formulaic from the word go:
Miracle – guess who wins?
White Chicks – thankfully women have better curves than the Wayans brothers
The Bourne Supremacy – same fight scenes filmed in a different location
The Flight of the Phoenix – to be fair, this was a remake of a Jimmy Stewart flick
The Passion – add bloopers, add a few musical numbers, add a cameo appearance by William Wallace, add a trite adult love scene, replace cross with a heavy stone
Just plain sucked:
The Day After Tomorrow – the CGI was good at least
Troy – loosely inspired from the abridged Cliffs Notes
Alien vs. Predator – false advertising
The Alamo – apparently Davy Crockett really liked to play the fiddle
Without a Paddle – the lighter side of Deliverance
Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights – he was not a hunk, she was not hot, everything was predictable
Film classic everyone should watch this winter break:
Crazy People – if the writers of The Onion made a movie, this is probably what it would look like