Think back to when you had to write an essay test in junior high and highschool. If you did not know something, odds are you probably tried to either state something that was generic (i.e. Hoover’s life affected the lives of many people both in his time and ours) or was just flat out wrong.
Humor site DribbleGlass.com (known for their fake billboards) managed to compile a list of some whiz-bang historical revisionism that would certainly prove why there are still Lincoln lovers running feverishly around:
- Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.
- Zorroastrologism was founded by Zorro. This was a duelist religion.
- Christianity was just another mystery cult until Jesus was born. The mother of Jesus was Mary, who was different from other women because of her immaculate contraption.
- Martin Luther nailed 95 theocrats to a church door.
- Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
- Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large.
- Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis.
They found some great science quotes as well, many of which explain why ‘Intelligent Design’ exists:
- The body consists of three parts—the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowls, of which there are five—a, e, i, o, and u.
- When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
- To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow.
- A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.