5/23/2006

What is a bioethicist anyways?

Filed under: General — Tim @ 10:14 pm

So where do you get authority to be a bioethicist? Is there some curriculum and instruction you have to master to become an official bioethicist? Or is it simply academic welfare for washed-out has-been pseudo-intellectuals?

I have a theory that anyone can be a bioethicist, just like anyone can be a philosopher, football coach or campfire builder. You just need a mouth and an audience and wham-bam you’re a bonified bioethicist. It’s hard to see any kind of objective or meritable criterion one should posses to be an official expert on “bioethical” issues.

Hell, can you imagine the absurdity of the following conversation:

Cop: sorry to interrupt your evening sir, but we have reports that you were practicing bioethics without a license

Bioethicist: but I submitted the proofs-of-purchase to the local chapter of skull-drudgery

Cop: ahh, but it’s not official unless it’s been notarized by the president of the Super Adventure Club

Actually, if you’ve watched South Park there is one episode that pokes fun of people claiming to be certified telepaths.* Eric Cartman bonks his head and after coming out of a coma, several detectives use him and his supposed “telepathic abilities” to track a serial killer. At one point his is confronted by some yahoos claiming to have similar powers and they complain that he never filled out the necessary forms to be a legitimate telepath.

Anyways, while that is neither here nor there, MSNBC published an article on how some bioethicists’ are concerned with the “social injustice” brought about by medical technologies that allow humanity to live longer, healthier lives.

In truth, the only “social injustice” that occurs with such longevity is when other people coercively prevent individuals from living longer. After all, who can have the authority to tell someone how long they should live, or can live?

I’ve mentioned the terrible god-awful movie, Logan’s Run before. The basic premise is that a small group of humans commits mandatory euthanasia at the age of 30. Their justification is not much different than the bioethicists quoted in the piece.

For instance, a friend noted that this age-longevity debate could be made into a science-fiction critique of modern day fundamentalism: a battle between rabid fundies and the first generation of “immortals.” The plot would likely involve court battles, whereupon judges and juries are asked to make the ethical decision and seek the death penalty for individuals living too long… past their “natural lives.”

“You’ve had your fun on earth, lived a rich and productive life, now make room for a new generation.” - Generalissimo Paul Ehrlich

Fortunately, the late economist Julian Simon did this world a great service by doomslaying many of the fallacies surrounding Malthusian “overpopulation” and a decline in the standard of living that are touted by proponents of anti-longevity (the same supporters who mysteriously receive medical treatment for illnesses and ailments, thus artificially thwarting a “natural death”).

At any rate, I for one am going to practice what I preach and continue working towards prolonging my life, long enough to see the actual retail release of Duke Nukem Forever.

*[Note: the same can be said for any kind of licensed profession whether it is medicine or law. In fact, would it not be insane to hear: "sorry sir, but you were practicing history without a license"?]

Not even a Maverick’s bandwagon fan

Filed under: General — Tim @ 1:20 am

Yea, they won a seemingly tough series against the defending champs, in overtime no less. However, despite having been born and raised in Dallas, I will honestly say that I have never been a hard-core fan of the team — I’m no hater either. In fact, I’ve only attended one game (at the mothballed Reunion Arena) and swear that they have lost every game I ever watched on tv (jinx).

With that said, I have followed the last few seasons with a genuinely reserved level of interest, primarily due to my friends’ renewed enthusiasm. I’ve even been known to patronize sports bars during these festive times…

But this kindred spirit was dampened due in part to ESPN’s Skip Bayless spotlight on how Mark Cuban has arguably bullied referee’s into submission at home. No bueno.

Mr. Bayless’s thesis reminded me of an analogy used by one of my economics professors comparing regulation in the market place to officiating in sports. When companies use regulations and State intervention to get their way, it is no different than team managers manipulating officials for their own ends. If the integrity of officiating was a matter of on-field lawyering, then coaches and players would be recruited not based on athleticism or talent, but debate and acting skills.

And on that note, the “official” governing body for soccer in Nigeria recently ‘okayed’ the act of bribing officials.

Can’t wait to see this trickle down into the tee-ball leagues.