Just like Chuck Norris, the A-Team is a force to be reckoned with. Here is my contribution to their infamy (special thanks to Philoi, Didymus, and Randall):
- Never leave a blow torch around. They will find it and build a tank and/or cow plow before the commercial break.
- Their bullets work, you always shoot blanks.
- They never have to reload; you burn through magazines like a chain smoker off the patch.
- Your rockets are imported from Durka Durkastan and at best, will only blow out tires.
- You have a better chance of finding them than the entire Armed Forces, especially if you are disabled, a small child, or a very good looking girl.
- When the theme song starts playing: stop, drop, and roll.
- If you are a Colonel, a petty thief, or an ugly girl in despair: don’t quit your day job.
- There’s always a white convertible corvette parked and ready if the black van isn’t fashionable enough for the occasion. And it is also weapon/rock/animal-proofed.
- Don’t be surprised if you wake up groggy on a helicopter when you’ve told everyone you don’t like to fly.
Be sure to see the Family Guy spoof of these universal truths. And this entertaining piece from the Mises Institute.