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At least, not until pick-up trucks become more common (they are non-existent out here), or when oil prices decrease dramatically.

I wonder if there is a direct correlation between liking monster trucks and enjoying WWF style wrestling? If so, then some of my students may become gear heads in the future… because they really like that show.

Via Bob Murphy.

Seeing one of those little four-wheeler, all-terrain vehicles (the kind that only fits one person, the driver) parked along the bicycle isle outside of a large grocery store.

or

Having one of your 14 year-old kids publicly admit that they cosplay in their free-time — and he’s a dude.

Actually, to be honest, neither is really strange to me nor most of my coworkers and not because I’m some kind of elite cosmopolitan globetrotter. One of the reasons I rarely discuss the job or the country is that everything kind of blends together, especially once you get a routine going.

But man, seeing as these kids all go to school six days a week, from 8 in the morning till 10 at night, you’d think the last hobby they’d have is playing dress-up in public. At least he’s outside, right? And not in some biker gang or working for Chris Cox of the SEC.

I think it can almost be safe to say that you live in a modern, industrialized economy when consumers become conspicuous.

Yes, there is a thin grey line there and I believe the definitive measurement is chrome hub cabs: aka rims.

I just saw three different cars driving around outside with some flashy rims (no spinners though). It could be that the drivers are all in college (I live near Kyung Hee University), as it is still impossible to guess how old azn people are. Ageless between 20 and 40.

Other things the local men typically blow their cash on: “massage” parlors, horse gambling, liters of soju.

So for breakfast and dinner I usually grab a quick bite to eat at a local Kimbap restaurant. You’ve probably at least seen a picture of the generic kimbap dish: a roll of seaweed with rice and amalgam of food like carrots, ham, cat fish, and radish stuffed inside.

I’ve probably gone to one of the places near my apartment around 25-30 times in the past month and they know what I want (the cheapest thing they have…).

Anyways, today I walked in and one of the ladies looked at me and started singing “We Are the World.”

Remember the original music video? In all its cheese the best part is probably Jacko’s gitup. Amazing:

When I first arrived in Korea last summer I saw a number of advertisements for a big budget scifi thriller called D-War. I asked my students about it and they all said it sucked a big one — that Transformers was much better.

I finally had a chance to watch it and it sucked a big one. Not only was the dialogue absolutely cliche but the editing was incredibly choppy. Scenes were not allowed to finish before the next one began. If you have seen the horrendous Dungeon Siege by Uwe Boll then you know just how bad editing can be. My understanding is that on emergency occasions a studio might bring in an outsider to help fix this kind of problem. For instance, Francis Ford Coppola was brought in to salvage the remains of another bomb, Supernova. Should’ve hired someone for this mess.

Anyways, a couple more nitpicks. The main boss guy reminded me of the cheesy bosses from the live-action Ninja Turtle movies or from any episode of Power Rangers. There was also a good 10 minutes of Korean dialogue that I could hardly follow and seeing as it had a worldwide release it would have been nice to see some kind of subtitles, even en espanol!

Craig Robinson, the black guy, never had a clearly defined role. Not only was he a computer whiz with access to a detailed NSA database of every person in LA region, but he was also was a camera man, amateur detective and also had the authority to order and use a company helicopter. The thing that bugged me most about him: his laptop was never plugged in to a power adapter or wired LAN-line at work.

Oh, and the two main actors definitely didn’t look like they were in college, let alone late teens. It is the same problem that many films and shows staring young adults continues to have. Remember Dawson’s Creek or Smallville? Did any of those actors look like they were remotely the characters age? [Note: the lead male is actually 35 and the girl is 26]

And perhaps the biggest annoyance of all was that the scenery did not match the geography of the region. This is the same problem I mentioned with Transformers… where is that huge city the robots fought in? In D-War apparently dragons and dinosaurs are apparently able to run around without being spotted and the super evil boss dude was able to build a couple of huge statues and monuments in the middle of a field. That kind of stuff never attracts attention, right?

1 out of 5. The only redeeming part of the film were the computer graphics/special effects but even those became tiresome. The same thing can be said for Doom another movie I recently watched and which blew chunks.

Aside from being a native of the British Commonwealth (or former colony), that’s pretty much all you need to teach out here in Asia.

I’ve been meaning to write about the English-expat industry out here and it will have to wait yet again.

Instead, I’d like to point to a short piece about a guy from Wisconsin who flew out to China three years ago to teach English. On the plane trip he started learning Mandarin and now works as a manager for an IT outsourcing firm in Chengdu.

If I had a dollar for every time I met someone out here that started as an English teacher and moved to something more “interesting” or “stable” I would likely be able to finance a LBO of Yahoo.

Again, if you’re willing to learn an azn language (Japanese, Korean, Mandarin) you can have a lot of fun out here and make some serious bling.

As for me, I know enough Korean to know when someone is making fun of me. Which usually is most of the time…

While walking through Samsung Plaza yesterday in Seohyeon, my friend and I were bothered by some theology students.

Last year I mentioned that there is a large base of evangelical christians here in Korea and that they arguably waste their English skills harassing foreigners.

While I am not promoting censorship or some kind retaliatory action against this activity, it is nothing short of annoying salesmanship — or as business guru Seth Godin calls it: interruption marketing. And the only reason it is tolerated is because it is shrouded behind a multi-billion person identity group.

For example, my British friend and I were just about the only foreigners in the modern, extremely busy courtyard and were walking to an empty table when two well-groomed Korean men with perfect English interrupted our day to sell us religion.

Here is the dialogue:

Korean man: “Hi, I am a theology student that needs help filling out a survey, could you assist me with this?”
My friend: “Not really, no.”
Korean man: “Are you a Christian?”
My friend: “No.”
Korean man: “So you don’t read the bible?”
My friend: “No.”
Korean man: “Don’t you know the bible is the word of god?”
My friend: “God does not exist.”
Korean man: “Don’t you believe human life is fragile? You could be walking across the street and get killed by a car.”
My friend: “Sure, that is a danger. But you don’t have the solution to that.”
Korean man: “What about asteroids, comets and meteorites? They can kill you at any instant. Doesn’t that worry you?”
My friend: “Not really.”
Korean man: “Don’t you know you are living in sin?”
My friend: “Good-bye.”

At that point my friend and I walked into a convenience store and bought a couple of drinks, sat down at the table and laughed about the whole incident.

I am seriously not making up the part about the seminary student asking us about cosmological phenomenon blowing us up.

This 45-second sales pitch can be summarized along the following: he was trying to reach out to real, seemingly uncontrollable fears in order to sell us phony insurance. And then guilt us for not wanting to join his club.

His insurance method is hardly new or novel. Furthermore, it is no different than the sales pitch used by countless theologians representing hundreds of religions and belief systems.

Seriously, it was no different than someone trying to peddle magnetic rocks or dowsing rods. And a question for the self-righteous members of the evangelical movement: why is this presentation and marketing strategy laudable and someone doing the same thing under a different name (e.g., Islam) wrong?

Would you not be annoyed if a group of Muslims or Pastafarians interrupted your day, without your personal permission, to tell you why you are evil and risk dying at any time? If yes, than I implore you not to financially support anyone that uses this technique to sell their wares (e.g., most missionaries, street preachers).

While I do not wish him or others like him any ill will, I think it is a complete waste to prey on the fears of the uneducated and believe it would be a better, less annoying approach to simply try to be my friend first before condemning me to hell. Perhaps that is why many Mormons are such god damn successful businessmen… because they don’t come across as assholes most of the time. But then again, they aren’t real christians, right? They’re a cult because they marry their cousins — an arrangement which went out of style centuries ago.

So I’m back in Seoul now. Flew out of Taipei on Saturday and am enjoying the clean(er) skies and busier, modern boulevards.

Last weekend, my friends took me to a local baseball game between the Uni-President Lions (from Tainan) versus the Brother Elephants (of Taipei). While it was a route by pretty much any definition, 9-3 in favor of the Lions, the atmosphere at the game was well worth the extremely cheap price of admission ($5 for seats right behind home plate).

For instance, fans of the teams wear the team colors and sing/yell coordinated songs at regular intervals — fan participation was encouraged through the sale of kazoos and plastic sticks. Each team also had a brass band and percussion team that will bellow tunes based upon the events occurring on the field. And young women, who were definitely not ugly, would act as cheerleaders, dancing like go-go girls on top of the dug out.

The oddest part, aside from the fact that the stadium was virtually split in half by the bouisterious crowd was that instead of having a 7th inning stretch they had a 10 minute half-time between the 5th and 6th inning. Other than that, the logistics and rules of the game appeared to be identical to their North American counterparts (e.g., wooden bats, 300+ feet to both foul poles, raised mound, etc.).

Another oddity was that the event managers played many of the same songs you typically find at ball parks around the US. Such as YMCA or the da-da charge! (originally part of a calvary ditty). No one sang along though, except for the pockets of westerners (some gringo girls danced to YMCA during half-time and ended up on “national” TV…).

The only disappointment of the night was the instant replay screen was turned off so you couldn’t see the various bloopers and batters getting beaned by the ball (which happened like 4 times). That and no one did the wave.

Trivia: because of the controversial political climate between Taiwan and China, what is the name for the Taiwanese national team in international competition? Hint, it has to do with Taipei.

In continuing my catalog of sights and sounds that strike me as odd:

Ghost money — everyday you can zig zag down the perpetually busy streets here and witness an interesting site: flames on the side of the road. Practicing Buddhists will take a metal canister and burn paper. The paper is actually “holy” ghost money (kind of like kosher food) that people buy huge stacks of. They then spend a 20 or so minutes saying prayers and throwing sheets of it into the metal cannister.

Some of the paper has incense so it smells decent, but the subsequent ash that becomes airborne lands on everything and certainly doesn’t help the dirty polluted boulevards. Also, while you may see monks in their traditional garb, you don’t need to wear anything special when you burn the paper.

Feral dogs — I’ve mentioned this briefly before. And based on my conversations with other friends and coworkers out here, this is not an issue endemic to Taiwan. Semi-domesticated dogs roam around scavenging for food. You’ll be standing in line for a box lunch and the dogs will stand next to you looking for scraps to fall. At night you may also see entire packs of 10 or more dogs running throughout neighborhoods. All of them are very friendly and will let you pet them. And while this may seem unsanitary (especially since many of them carry and spread various illnesses) just imagine how much food is hastily thrown out on the streets for them to continue living.

Garbage pickup - there are few, if any dumpsters around this part of town (in fact, I can’t say that I’ve seen one anywhere in the metro). As a result, residents come downstairs and partake in an eerily communal ritual in which they stand on the sidewalk and wait for the local garbage truck to swing on by at prearranged times. Talk about a waste of time.

The truck (which looks identical to the big blue or brown ones in America) is painted yellow and has a red flashing light affixed to the top. And the way you know the garbage truck is nearby: it plays a catchy ice cream tune over and over.

I can’t imagine how the driver does not go insane… I wonder if the ditty plays in their sleep too (it does appear in my dreams!)?

Tans — while I hardly have Yellow Fever all of the hottest Asian girls I knew growing up were tan… or at least not pale. Too bad they didn’t get the memo here. Being tan or any shade of brown is stigmatized here because culturally people believe that if you are pale, you have a white-collar job and can stay inside all day. Conversely, if you are brown, people typically believe you do some kind of manual labor outside. It is a status symbol.

Thus you never see tanning salons anywhere (nor are they in Seoul), which is to their detriment… because Thai and Vietnamese women are so much more attractive because they have darker skin. Consequentially, Taiwanese, Korean and Japanese chicas would probably look a darn sight better if they stopped walking around with an umbrella and got 15 minutes of Vitamin D everyday from Mr. Sun.

Not to belabor the point but this reminds me of the first televised presidential debate in 1960 between Nixon and JFK. In the days before the debate Nixon supposedly spent day and night cramming and studying every kind of question that could be asked in this format. In contrast, JFK went to the beach and got some rays. And when Americans turned that knob, those with color TVs saw a pasty, seemingly unhealthy Nixon standing opposite to a golden, youthful JFK. Here are more details to that story.

[As an aside, one of the reasons body builders get that oompa loompa shade of orangishness is because it helps define and articulate muscle definition. You don't see albino's grunting and flexing in Bowflex commercials, but you do see 50 year-old MILFs that are tan]

Most Extreme Elimination Challenge — if you have never watched MXC on Spike TV you are either a Risk Management bureaucrat or eat babies. It is a Japanese game show that takes place with dozens of contestants running through a myriad of obstacle courses. The show is redubbed and edited for all sorts of nutty laughs. And believe it or not, but in both Korea and Taiwan there are several shows that showcase westerners in similar light (like a 24 hour station just for stuff like Candid Camera).

It certainly beats watching yet another Jeanne Claude Van Damme flick that chronically appear on every movie station.

Chinglish — I mentioned Konglish when I was in Korea (mixture of English and Korean) and a similar phenomenon exists here, although it seems to a smaller degree. The one you may encounter everyday is when you call a friend and they don’t pick up. Instead of going to voice mail (which no one on this tectonic plate has) an automated message is played. Usually the script that is read has a number of grammatical errors… which is just weird because the telecom firms here make money hand over fist. You would think they would have better quality control than the local tshirt shop that sells the “Juicy Girl” and “Go Eff Yourself” shirts to little toddlers (they really do wear them to school too).

Things I miss:

- Believe it or not, but I do actually miss Walmart. It’s cheap, has a gazillion products and is open 24 hours a day. And as a tangent, the company that commies love to hate might be up for a Nobel Peace Prize.

- Guacamole. Being raised on Tex-Mex food is bittersweet because all of the cuisine I was used to eating every week is nearly impossible to find. That includes everyones favorite avocado which is non-existent in this part of the world.

- Mosquitoes that die. I don’t care how many times you seal the door or window, these mother fuckers end up eating you alive every night. Okay, so it’s not quite sub-Saharan bad, but you’ll wake up because they’re buzzing around in your nose or ear. And then play Houdini with your fists of fury as you try (in vain) to hunt them down. Please send me more Tabasco.

[Note: yea, all of the images come from a simple search for "bowflex" -- sue me]

In my short tenure in Seoul I was the head speaking instructor at a large multi-campus prep school that was tasked with a pedagogy project (teaching teaching to teachers). While it probably won’t entirely make sense to you, here is a goofy presentation I gave one day to a group of fellow foreigners who were supposed to become effective interviewees.

I hope you are imbued with its magical powers like the woman who recently interviewed Mark Zuckerberg:

| View | Upload your own

Many of the expats and Westernized asians that I am friends with keep up with North American politics, primarily the US presidential race.

Back in Texas there were very few instances that the topic of politics was broached at a bar (at least the cool ones I visited). However, in both Seoul and Kaohsiung many of the headline issues are openly discussed by non-citizens. For instance, the owner of the local Belgium pub that I frequently visit is quite the news junkie. As are most of his patrons. You should hear them talk about the Taiwanese independence movement…

Anyways, most of the expats I’ve met along the way have all pretty much have a hard on for Che Guevara and other “lovable” socialists. And in the current election if they are not pulling for Nader or Gore they’re quite the Obama fans.

I mention this because about the only two or three economic issues that we all agree on are: against maintaining an empire, anti-(corporate) welfare, and anti-central banks. [note: my own thoughts are over at the Mises blog.]

However out of all 20 or so presidential candidates from this past year, there were only two iconoclastic congressman from both sides of the political isle that also represented the views from above: Ron Paul and Dennis Kucinich. And the weirdest thing is that I’ve met a couple expats that seemed up-to-speed about these two guys, lauding their positions over pitchers of beer.

And as luck would have it, both recently won in the primaries and will remain curmudgeons in the House. Thus, giving foreign observers like my Belgium friend another reason to enjoy watching CSPAN.

Someone posted a remark in the last post about the Namdaemun gate fire. The guy was mad that I made a couple of jokes about what probably happened. While I shouldn’t have to defend the humor industry I would like to point out that I was right.

It turns out that a 69 drunk man was responsible for the fire. In fact, the same guy set fire to a palace a few years back too.

I should note that I hardly think of myself as an expert on Korea, but I’d like to think that I gained a bit of knowledge of its culture, including its darker side (e.g., business men passed out and vomiting all over the place in public and no one stops because it is so common place).

This topic is tangentially related to DreamWorks in the graphics department. That image of the gate burning was fairly intense, up there with some high-quality CGI flicks.

And to update my previous post about Pixar and rendering capabilities, I recently came across how Shrek the Third was rendered.

Some numbers:
3000 servers
20 million CPU render hours compared to 10 million for number II and 5 million for the original movie

The image to the right is considered Korea’s top “cultural landmark.” And boy has someone redecorated it.

It went up in flames last night and arson is suspected.

Here are my guesses as to the cause:

- a group of very drunk ajossi (salarymen) thought it would be a good idea to celebrate the Lunar New Year by lighting a bunch of fireworks inside the tinderbox
- the image is actually a tweaked screenshot from the upcoming Starcraft II game Korean’s are salivating over
- it is from a deleted scene from D-War
- it is a re-enactment of the LA Riots in which Korean shop owners banded together with shotguns and kept the rioters from looting their stores
- it is from the trailer of the live-action He-Man movie starring Dolph Lundgren or any Jean Claude Van Damme movie that they show on the SuperAction station (channel 26)

In continuing with the war between photons and my camera, here are a few more photos from my super exciting life and times:

As I’ve previously mentioned there are thousands of westerners that move out here after finishing college, especially from Canada. These are two of my coworkers. The one on the left is originally from Romania, but went to school in Toronto. And the chica on the right is from Vancouver.

And I love you too. To be fair, I cut off the Hangul writing portrayed by the red neon sign. It says tuna.

This is one of the stranger stories I’ve heard. It turns out that following the destructive Korean war, the populace turned to cheap and reliable cans of spam to satiate their diets. It is still a staple that can be found in any store in more varieties than Bubba Gump Shrimp. Everyone I work with was given a brief case filled with spam in honor of their holiday, Chuseok, which is currently being celebrated. And like many others, I become cross-eyed upon tasting this nutritious delicacy.

So, despite being several thousand miles away, the American South has somehow wedged itself into the pop culture here. This wall is just outside a popular Western bar and plays host to a plethora of random license plates, posters and trinkets. Oh, and that is the state flag of Mississippi — not a merger between the Dutch and the Confederacy.

Remember when Bart Simpson skipped school and talked his way into an R-rated movie called Naked Lunch? And moments later he walked out perturbed, saying that there were two things wrong with that title. Well, the same goes for Room Candy.

As you can tell, we had all been drinking a lot of Korea’s finest water-based beverages. And the blue thing in my hand is actually a plastic sword. Very exciting, I know. The other bloke is a buddy of mine from Scotland (has the stereotypical accent and suave Sean Connery attitude). The two girls also enjoyed the Scott and the sword.

There are a million and a half restaurants whose patrons cook and eat from these open-pits. The main dish is called Changkuksang and is complimented with an assortment of leafy vegetables. The red stuff is not tomato sauce, rather it is spicy sauce that is served with just about every meal here. The guy on the left is one of the funniest guys I’ve met and hails from Australia (though he’s lived on nearly every continent). Across from him is his fiancée who I think is from England or maybe New Zealand — she’s a Briton of some variety.

Only in Korea can you buy a product from Blizzard in a corner store. More on their zealous fandom.

Here are the first of a million photos I’ve taken. I have some videos too, but the quality isn’t terribly good — plus the cool ones are were done in a dark night club.

My friends and I found an authentic Pancho’s Mexican Cantina in Itaewon this weekend. It had legit tortillas, guacamole, and most importantly, sombreros. Here I am posing with the token Mexican host (he actually spoke Spanish) and our Korean waitress.

This was one of the bartenders at the NB club in Gangnam. He didn’t speak English, but made up for it with some very strong drinks. This place was pretty damn packed too (I’ll try to put something on Youtube).

Simply put, caca means “shit” in Spanish. While Konglish is en vogue, perhaps Spanorean or something will one day become the lingua franca.

A couple of my students. The one on the right actually spent a number of years in Canada and speaks fluent Canadianese. Oddly enough her younger, hyper brother is in the same class.

Korean toddlers are bar none, some of the cutest kids I’ve seen (rivaling even my young niece and nephew). During the afternoon you can see them running around with their mothers, spreading fuzzy feelings faster than OMG Ponies!

This is fairly self-explanatory. To give you some context, the owners know exactly what it says and the store location is strategically placed along the main road in Itaewon. Brilliant.

My latest Mises piece is up today and it gives a fairly detailed account of Korean economic policies that have created various technologies: Asian Tiger or Asian Kitten?

A few thoughts:

The piece was basically a rejoinder to the pie-in-the-sky posts over at Wired magazine, Slashdot, Ars, Engadget, and Cringely… basically anyone who has a hard-on for fat pipes at any cost.

PC bangs aren’t that cool, or rather, the “wow” factor quickly fades after a couple weeks. There are a couple of big reasons why they are so popular:

- it gets kids out of the house and away from parents (whom most will live with even when they are married)
- in some ways it is cheaper to join the local PC bang like Westerners join big gyms, because it easier to have someone else manage the weights, or in this case, the plethora of software packages/licenses. After all, there is a reason why millions of Bowflexes, ab crunchers, thigh masters go unused each year…
- hang out with your friends in a neutral area. Considering that Korean’s (like the Japanese) have no childhoods because they spend every breathing minute in school for 12+ years, PC bangs are basically a sanctuary for many of them

I’ll discuss more on that particular issue at another time.

So, yes, technologically speaking this place is over-rated, over-hyped (dare I even discuss useful webservices?).

That is not to say that it is a bad, place — quite the contrary. Just not a fairytale world with unicorns, pink dragons, and HAL.

I’d also like to thank DJC for the WSJ link about stiff regulation and Joe for the link on foreign investment numbers. And a big high five to Burger King Marcus for editing it up all nicely.

I haven’t noticed much educational programming in the way of MacGyver, Knight Rider, or the A-Team… but their absence is more than fulfilled in the form of live action choreography that makes the WWE look realistic.

Yes, while most of the populace hides from the sun light (being tan is stigmatized here, more on that at a later time), we at least all receive the daily recommended allowance of Airwolf - the pinnacle in day-time televisions quest for consolidating crappy plotlines and recycling fight sequences (seriously).

Not to be a Debbie Downer, but the capabilities of the helicopter are beyond even today’s latest and greatest vehicles (military or otherwise).

For instance, the fastest helicopter ever made (ZB500) only achieves 250 mph, which is just a smidge slower than the supersonic velocities that Airwolf was capable of reaching in a fire fight.

Oh, and you know how every episode involves tackling some tin-pot dictator in a Third-World shanty town? Well, being the douche bag that I am, I’d like to point out that this bird-of-prey supposedly hides in Monument Valley, Utah.

Big deal, right? Well, again, the longest range any helicopter ever had was a prototype OH-6, which could cover 1,900 nautical miles.

So uhh, it is kind of hard to take the fight to Charlie and other boogey men at the ends of the earth. Unless of course, they all reside in the Northern regions of Mexico.

Then again, as John Candy discovered in Canadian Bacon, there are copious amounts of dastardly bastards holed up within 100 miles of the US border. Like Pamela Anderson and Geordie Rose…

Note to purists: it is true that the creators recognized the range limitation in the “design spec” but seriously now. In the enlightening episode I watched last night, Hawke & Co. ended up battling a local group of herdsmen in Afghanistan. I don’t think you need a protractor or abacus to calculate the disparate differences between Point A and B. And in-flight refueling would be an odd thing for a wanted fugitive to continually receive from their adversaries in the Air Force.

See the intro that includes the “innovative” motorcycle helmet.

Back in the late ’90s and even up through parts of the ’00s there were people that got tattoos of Asian hieroglyphic characters, just because they looked cool.

The user had no idea what they meant and in the few weeks that I have been here, I have noticed a similar trend in xenophilia.

While I haven’t seen a whole lot of Romanic characters stenciled on the locals, many young people wear shirts even if they don’t know what it may say.

Exhibit A:

I snapped this photo during a scavenger hunt through one of the many jam-packed markets on Korea’s Constitution Day.

There are a million more where this one comes from, most of which are not family friendly…

I recently bumped into a couple of stories that are about a year old now, detailing one of those grandiose 5-Year Plans that are reminiscent to Soviet-era master planning.

This time the guilty party is the Ministry of Education in South Korea.

They plan on spending $51 billion of taxpayers ducats to invest in English education programs — a kind of ‘chicken in every pot‘ scheme or ‘robot in every home‘ kind of deal.

So, instead of allowing the residents to keep their money and finance education as they see fit, the technocrats (”Great Deciders”) have decided to throw money at an artificially created quagmire.

Also, in continuing the story from the other day, according to my co-workers it is illegal for someone like myself to teach pro bono, even at an orphanage. Because it is not part of the E-2 visa.

Draconian labor laws? Free-market in labor? Maybe this is why foreign businesses have been shunning the peninsula…

The contemporary debate over occupational licensing typically involves the fields of medicine and law.

In fact, you would be hard pressed to find anyone being arrested for or accused of practicing history without a license.

While many individuals would consider that sort of licensing scheme borderline retarded under the reductio ad absurdum fallacy (after all, why not license all commercial activity?), in South Korea, and just about every other country, this ridiculous policy actually exists.

For instance, a Canadian was just arrested and sentenced to six months in prison for fabricating his academic record to receive an E-2 Visa, the kind you need if you want to teach English here.

Now, while I certainly do not condone falsifying documents and committing fraud in any kind of business transaction, another overlooked criminal act is the artificial barrier to entry that South Korea has placed on the market for tutoring services.

Aside from needing a bachelors degree from an accredited institution, applicants must originate from an approved list of countries. And foreigners are only allowed to work at licensed/registered hagwons or public schools due to the fact that private one-on-one tutoring sessions are illegal.

Thus, the larger issue is that the Korean government is in effect insulating teachers here from outside competition: it is modern-day protectionism.

In addition, a lively debate is taking place on a popular ESL/EFL forum surrounding this issue and whether or not you should snitch/tattle-tale on someone teaching illegally.

Scratch and sniff

Two pillars of a free-market involve the freedom of association and freedom of contract, and in this instance the government is meddling in the affairs of businesses at the detriment of both the business and client.

In short, because schools are not at liberty to hire whomever they feel qualified for the job, an artificial shortage is created by government regulation. In addition, the negative distortions are no different than in any other market that the government regulates (such as the housing market in NYC).

And as a result, a black market for education exists and thrives because effective instructors will still be approached to fill the market demand.

And this protectionist attitude is no better illustrated by one of the forum posters who suggests that the market price for an English teacher would drastically decline if the current requirements were dropped — they are scared of competition and are willing to use force to prevent a change in the business model.

The end result of this market regulation and government intervention is that customers cannot get the cheapest education, nor can they be offered the best, because some of the most creative and innovative teachers will never attend college.

Note: residents of India and many other former British colonies are not in the pool of acceptable E-2 applicants… because they aren’t honkies.