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Pornography is positively ‘positive’ for you:

An Australian state funded study has revealed that pornography is actually good for people as it makes them more positive about their bodies and even makes marriages stronger!

Horny 14-year old boys and single downtrodden 43-year old men agree wholeheartidly with the statements eschewed in the report.

Quotes of the day:

“You can’t fight City Hall, but you can pee on the steps and run.” — Gary North

“You can’t fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.” — George Carlin

Via agnosiophobia.

   

What will he think of next?

Anarchists’ Convention Debates Voting: Anarchists’ Convention Debates Whether Voting Makes You a Bad Anarchist -

A group of anarchists is taking an unusual step to make its political voice heard going to the polls.
[...]
Susan Heitker, 32, of Athens, believes that the U.S. government is neither legitimate nor democratic, but she still plans to vote.

Isn’t that ironic statement akin to:

“I don’t accept the legitimacy of the state! I think I’ll go vote!”

After reading the article and seeing the AvP poster a friend of mine quipped:

“They can go ahead and elect Kerry to their… destruction. Or re-elect Bush to their… destruction.”

Via Fulton Chain.

It’s a little old, but new to me. Via WFTV Slideshow (there is all sorts of crazy shizola in there).

Four arrested for eating family member, serving flesh to wedding guests:

MANILA, Philippines (AP) — Four members of a family have been arrested and charged with murder for allegedly killing and eating a relative during a wedding reception — and serving his flesh to unwitting party guests, police said Tuesday.

At the July 17 wedding of his daughter, Eladio Baule got angry with his cousin Benjie Ganay who tripped and accidentally touched the bride’s bottom, said Senior Police Inspector Perla Bacuel, at Narra town in Palawan province, southwest of Manila.

A few hours later, Baule, his son Gerald, another cousin Junnie Buyot and a nephew, Sabtuari Pique, allegedly confronted Ganay, then drove him to a secluded place where they stabbed him to death, Bacuel said.

Buyot, who surrendered to police and is acting as a witness, told police they then roasted Ganay’s body using coconut leaves and kerosene, Bacuel said.

Sexy.

Note to self: keep hands off heinies until further notice.

Via Jason Ditz.

Vandal Edits Swear Words in Library Books:

LAYTON, Utah — A self-appointed editor of library books has given new meaning to “purple prose.” The do-it-yourself censor is turning swear words into “darns” and “hecks” — in purple ink.

“They believe it’s within their right to deface public property and impose what they believe on others,” library director Pete Giacoma said.

“It’s a crime. It would be prosecuted if we were to find who did it, by luck or accident,” he said.

Destroying or defacing library materials is a class B misdemeanor. It’s punishable by up to six months in jail and a $1,000 fine, but Giacoma said the library usually will settle for restitution.

“I think the worry of the public, every once in a while, is that we’re doing it,” he said. “We’re not.”

Giacoma said in cases like this, the vandals will usually tire of editing books and stop on their own.

My first semester at A&M included numerous run-ins with Savonarola-wannabe’s who would partake and condone in sanctimonious activities like that. Bunch of griefers.

Via Fun With Headlines.

Crazed surgeon amputates patient’s penis, chops it up:

BUCHAREST (AFP) – A Romanian surgeon who underwent a fit of madness while operating on a man’s testicles proceeded to amputate his penis and cut it into three pieces.

The surgeon, Naum Ciomu, was said to be a senior member of the hospital staff and a professor of anatomy.

He had been operating on a 34-year-old man for a testicular malformation when he committed the act, hospital officials said Friday.

“We are shocked by what has happened. It is the first time we have had such a case,” said Sorin Oprescu, head of the Bucharest emergency hospital where the operation took place.

Doctor Ciomu had been banned from entering an operating theatre for two months pending the results of an investigation by the medical council, Oprescu said.

Meanwhile the wife of the unfortunate patient said she was suing Dr. Ciomu.

Remember when I used to post like 6 times a day, most of which was comprised of random potpourri like that? Well, head on over to DiVERSiONZ because he actually has the time and sanity to do that, flaky right-wing nut…

Movie stars get hung up on KGB’s anti-hangover drug:

A drug created by the former KGB to keep its agents sober so that they could drink opponents under the table before stealing their secrets is being sold on the internet to Hollywood stars as a defence against hangovers.

The drug, known as RU-21, is made in Russia and sold as a natural remedy on the internet. Hollywood actors are said to be fond of the fix, called after the American legal drinking age, which enables them to make the most of LA’s party circuit without red eyes or pounding headaches detracting from their delivering the goods on the film set next morning.

Its makers claim that it stops the body making an enzyme which turns alcohol into acetaldehyde, a toxic chemical which can damage tissues.

The pill lets you get drunk, but indefinitely delays the hangover and damage to the body’s organs.

A little less convenient, the makers say that you have to take two pills before or during every two drinks – a suspicious activity in trendy watering holes.

The KGB invented the drug just after the second world war.

The secrets of the pill were declassified in 1999, and it was developed into a market commodity by scientists at the Russian Academy of Sciences as part of an extended study of alcohol’s effects on the body. Its makers and Californian marketeers say it is selling to the tune of $10,000 (£6,000) a week.

“Russians can out-drink anybody in the world anyway,” said Emil Chiaberi, head of Spirit Sciences, which sells the pill in the US.

“I don’t know why they needed a pill.”

I have several friends, whom are from various parts of that former federation (sounds like something from Star Trek), and they can totally out drink everyone I know… and I went to A&M. That’s my claim to fame too.

Subject: C5) Why don’t we try to destroy tropical cyclones by nuking them:

During each hurricane season, there always appear suggestions that one should simply use nuclear weapons to try and destroy the storms. Apart from the fact that this might not even alter the storm, this approach neglects the problem that the released radioactive fallout would fairly quickly move with the tradewinds to affect land areas and cause devastating environmental problems. Needless to say, this is not a good idea.

Score one for Ralph Wiggum.

I don’t know about you, but I’m anti-Hurricane. Every time he comes up for election I vote against him or any of his relatives. The infidel deserves to die, along with his compatriots. Who will band with me to destroy this menace to freedom? Because if we don’t strike first, he will kill us all, take our horses and send all of our kids to Day Care.

Damn those hurricanes of mass destruction.

When will his reign of terror end?

Hlleo wrold. I fuond tihs naet-o sotry at Salhsodt. Bsaiclaly, jsut as lnog as the frist and lsat ltetres are in tehir porepr palecs, you sohuld udnretsnad msot of waht is bieng siad. Ture dat.

Yea, essentially so as long as the first and last letters in a sentence are the same as the original word, erveyhtnig sohuld be spuer dpuer.

Uncle Jazzbeau’s Gallimaufrey has mroe dteails on tihs.